


hollywood's bleeding

by fairy_myeon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Druguse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Model!Baekhyun, baekhyun is very sad, happy end, micromanaging, rapper!pcy, shady model industry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23260861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairy_myeon/pseuds/fairy_myeon
Summary: Trapped in a career that slowly destroyed him, Baekhyun wished to finally end it all. Being the most sought after model did not bring him any happiness, had never done so. Rapper Loey might be the one to save him from the shackles that his life had become.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 51
Kudos: 174





	1. darkness turns to dust

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is an ongoing tweetfic of mine. I had first planned on posting this in one chapter once the fic is done, but its getting quite lengthy (for my standard) and i now feel the fic fits more into a chaptered layout.   
> I will post the next days to keep it up with the status of my tweetfic.
> 
> Let me know what you think! Please watch out with the tags! I might add a few!

Baekhyun thought of himself as a wasted existence. At least he felt like exactly that. He hadn’t even reached his 20th birthday yet, but he felt like his life was already at the end. No strength in this world could possible make him endure this any longer. Being the most sought after model in the industry for the past 8 years had taken its toll on him. He was drained.  
Beautiful on the outside but his insides weren't that pretty anymore. The industry was ruthless, especially to people like him. He was pretty, he was young, he was naive. Baekhyun sometimes remembered all the things he had been promised and the things he had actually received. There were a lot of pretty shiny things he had now. He had gotten success, he had gotten a name for himself, but no happiness. 

His body was not his own anymore. There was a hidden part of his profession that no one was allowed to see but Baekhyun knew it all too well. Exploited until there was nothing anymore to exploit. He felt like a tool, because he was a tool. They always made sure his body was intact but Baekhyun wished they would care about his mind, too. No one wanted to see what was inside of him. No one wanted to listen to his voice. No one even realized he had one. It was hard to speak.  
Maybe it was the cocaine, maybe it was the abuse, maybe it was just in his head. They always told him it was only in his head so sometimes he tried to believe it. He really wished it was like that. It would make so many things easier. But the touches and the exhaustion felt too real.

Baekhyun knew the drill all to well. Dressed up in intriguing high end pieced from head to toe, eyes and lips looking to be either sinful or cutely indecent depending on what the client wanted, he got sat in front to a dinner table in a high class restaurant. Made to entertain his guest, make him feel at ease and important. There was not much the model had to say, a few shallow lines of admiration that he had to repeat, not that they cared what would come out of his mouth. It was good for his business, for his connections, they said. But Baekhyun did not know how. What would a high ranking politician do for his career? What could the CEO of a big industrial company potentially offer him expect his fingers roaming all over his small body. Tracing lines that Baekhyun would feel for days, until he wanted to rip his skin apart, wanted to free the tainted parts of his body. But it was useless, there was no spot on him that was pure anymore.  
The truth was hard and cold. They paid good and Baekhyun’s contract was binding, he was a mere puppets to his company. He was not to be treated as someone with feelings, he was a product. And products were meant to be sold. He was at the verge of just accepting it. Baekhyun wondered how long until his body would grow cold enough. 

Baekhyun felt alone for the longest time. People were always around him, but he felt more like a prisoner than a celebrity. Loved by many, but trapped inside a world he did not want to be. He remembered when he got discovered, being a small, malnourished boy roaming a supermarket with the sole intend to steal himself some food. Coming from a poor family he took the offer of the agency immediately. At the tender age of 12, his whole life had changed. The company big and corrupt, but he did not know that at the time. Sometimes Baekhyun wondered if he would had decided differently if he knew how his life would be now. At the top of his game as a model, but at the bottom as a human. Then he would remember his desperation as a kid. The hunger, the longing for warmth and how money to buy food and pay the bills had sounded so heavenly. It did not work like that at all. Modeling had never been his passion, but it became his profession to save what Baekhyun would call a broken future. But what exactly had he saved now? 

The years came and go, Baekhyun’s image and clientele changed from kid’s couture and commercials to mature brands, working with high end designers and high profile products, like expensive make up. From cute children outfits to daring lingerie if the job called for it. He could not pass a street without seeing his own face. Baekhyun had stopped going out in his rare spare time. He did not want to see himself. All he would see was an empty shell. And, really, that was exactly what everyone wanted. No one asked for his opinion, no one asked him about himself. They did not care. So Baekhyun had learned to keep quiet. But he was still just a boy.  
He did his jobs, he smiled prettily if he had, too. All those commercials, all those posters, all those brands with his face on had never gotten a real emotion from him. That was nothing he could give anymore. Baekhyun wondered if anyone would see the changed if they were to inspect the timeline of his work. There was a brief time where he had enjoyed what he did. Baekhyun did see happiness in the early pictures. But it had gradually faded away.

It was a routine, Baekhyun getting dressed up to be watched. This location was no different. A very famous music festival he was a special guest in. He was here because one of the main sponsors for this event was a make up brand he was currently the face of. So his task was to occasionally show up and look pretty. It was torture as its finest. The only time he was involved in something to do with music was something where his voice wasn't needed. Not like it was needed at all anyways. He had taken on some MC jobs he really enjoyed, but apparently that was not what the majority wanted from him. They didn't want him to talk. So Baekhyun thought this was hard to endure, lest why he roamed the halls in a small break in search of a quiet place. It was a restroom that was so far away from all the occupied dressing rooms in the backstage that no one used it. Perfect, Baekhyun did not hesitate to open his for his cocaine. A clear little plastic bag he always carried around for when things got to hard to cope. These days everything was hard.  
Music had always been something that Baekhyun had dreamed of. Maybe this career was the outcome of his wish. He loved to sing. But no one bothered to listen. So he had stopped.

The hole in his chest grew bigger with being here, the only pretty face not allowed to join in with his passion among all these talented artists, so the all too familiar white powder was pulled out way too easily. His slender fingers working efficiently, he knew how to do it. Could barely go a day or two without it. Thing were easier that way. 

It was only then that he entered. Powder still on his nose, Baekhyun must seem so pathetic as he locked eyes with the tall man. Loey. The headliner of the Festival. The biggest act. Most probably the biggest artist of their generation.  
Baekhyun thought it to be ironic. Both of them were known over the globe. And this is how they met. In a dirty restroom crammed in the back of a venue blasting music while Baekhyun, the world’s famous model, just took a line of cocaine. Pathetic. 

Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun were the exact opposites. It had been clear from the moment they had met for the first time. 

Park Chanyeol was someone he had always admired from afar. He was handsome, he was tall, talented and successful in what he loved. He was probably the most successful rapper of this era, his persona as /Loey/ shaping a whole generation with his art and talent. 

And he was independent. 

No contracts that bound him on anyone but himself. Everything he did was up to him.  
Baekhyun had made a lot of naive mistakes in the past, his contract barely bordering on things that were legal. He knew he still had a few years left with the people around him. But Baekhyun wasn't sure if he wouldn't break before that. How easy was it to just consume a white line way too long for him? Baekhyun thought of it to be a beautiful way to die. 

Park Chanyeol's eyes were deep but the model did not expect any less. The tall man had changed the hip hop genre in the past few years, had made himself one of the biggest names in the world. Of course there was a lot to him. They were probably on par with their success, but deep down Baekhyun knew he would fade away eventually. He was just a pretty face that would eventually grow old. They would forget him and his name once another pretty face took his place.

Chanyeol’s impact would last. He had always been jealous of that, his dream had always been to sing. But instead he was kept silent and pretty. He was not allowed to pursue his passion, not allowed to use his voice. Instead he was dolled up and put on a strict diet to fit all the couture. It was a tiring activity. On that had become a routine that Baekhyun started to despise. But he despised the dinners more. The one's were he was all dolled up, sitting in front of a high ranking member of the community, batting his eyelashes and making sure his plate stays full enough. He knew the food would only make him throw up when thinking about what would happen in the later hours. 

His life was not his own, he knew that already. So that was probably why he had this deep admiration for the rapper. He loved his music, his songs all meant freedom for him. 

So having him see like this was…. disappointing to say the least. Chanyeol crooked his head to the side as he scanned the petite male clad in tight pants and a sheer, see through blouse, hair tousled messily but calculated, eyes lined in kohl completing his look. Completely concealing the depressed boy that was under the layers. The rapper did not get to inspect him in peace though, for the door was opening abruptly and Baekhyun’s face went pale and he finally reacted. Slender fingers quickly coming up to rub away the white powder on his nose. But it was too late.  
„Baekhyun, here are you. Come on, you have to go.“ The hand of his manager was circling around his small arm, digging uncomfortably into his skin and led it outside. Not exactly soft, but Baekhyun knew this was not the full force, he knew what the full force was. But with another person’s presence, things had to be professional. As professional as they could be after witnessing how the most wanted model had just taken some drug like the addict he was.  
Baekhyun could not think straight anymore. Chanyeol’s deep eyes imprinted on his mind, that gradually got clouded by the drug. He could not tell what was in his gaze, he had not seen this impression for the longest of time. 

He could not think about this any longer though, as his small body got pushed inside his dressing room again. Baekhyun’s manager yelling for someone to fix up the cocaine stains on his cheeks. Smiling for this job was harder than usual. He avoided Chanyeol at all costs and made sure to leave as fast as he could after the event ended.

The slap on his cheek was not a common practice, but it was not foreign to him either. Baekhyun was no stranger to physical punishments from the people around them. Although they usually toned it down, his blemish free body was a valuable product.  
“You useless idiot." Voice like venom, it reached deep into Baekhyun's soul, a place he found numb and hurting at the same time. His manager never had mercy with him. He would always push the young boy to his limits, dictate what he should do. Even yell if Baekhyun asked for so much as a chocolate bar.  
“You were supposed to give him a positive outlook, not this mess you created! Our contractors wanted to get him for a campaign!" Baekhyun felt the uncomfortable grip in his hair, pulling at the soft locks. He winced.  
„Did you know what he had said to their offer? He did not want to work with them solely because you were one of their partners, too.“ Another slap but Baekhyun did not feel it, reflex made tears fall but his cheeks were numb. Was it really him that Chanyeol despised? Had their one encounter a few days ago made him hate him so much? Baekhyun suddenly felt sad.  
“I don’t give a single fuck how much fucking cocaine you take with that pretty nose of yours. But are you too dumb to do it so no one sees it? You will fix this, do you understand?!“ What was he supposed to do?

It was like a punishment. His company did their homework throughly. Every possibly event Loey attended was checked for opportunities to send Baekhyun, too. Baekhyun got put out of sleep multiple times to attend a late night event last minute to cater to his agency’s needs. It seems their connection to his current brand deal got clouded because of this. Park Chanyeol had been in contact with said brand to endorse them, actually positive about taking the deal it in former discussions, but the moment he had met Baekhyun he had dropped it, even going so far as to openly name him as the sole cause.  
So now he had to fix it. But Baekhyun did not know how. What was there to fix? He could not even fix himself. Chanyeol seemed to despise him. The model could have sworn he saw something different in his eyes when they met. It greatly confused him.  
He could not tell, he did not know what to do.


	2. dyin' in our sleep, we're living out a dream

Getting pushed into a direction he did not want to go was a routine at this point, yet with Park Chanyeol, it was the hardest thing he had ever done. The eyes of disgust whenever they came across each other was something that hurt a lot. To some people he was numb, but not to the artist that he found to be very inspiring. To see that he hated him was upsetting. To him, he was probably just a pretty but shallow cover that was hooked on drugs like a failure. And was he wrong?  
But he did not need to be so obvious, Baekhyun thought.

The model thought a lot about their encounter, was it really the drugs? Loey himself came from an industry that was known to be prone to drugs, he saw him conversing and interacting with artists and musicians that were known to take them, too. So why Baekhyun? The realization hurt even more.  
He was very shy at first, would only try to steal glances at their encounters. It were a lot of different events. From musicals to charity events to award shows, even just Baekhyun appearing when Chanyeol got seen clubbing.

Chanyeol would look at him one time and then ignore him, Baekhyun remembered the first time. He had worn a pretty blouse tucked into tight suit pants and a dazzling smile at a charity dinner where he was conveniently placed at the table the rapper was sitting at too, clad in a grey three piece suit. The tall man had been irritated at the boy sitting across him, pretty fingers wrapped around a wine glass. Eyes covered in beautiful make up, not too dramatic but still somewhat noticeable. Baekhyun was used to people looking at him, but Chanyeol completely ignored him. He was instructed to approach him, but he wasn’t even given a chance.  
He went home defeated, pockets full of random numbers thrown his way by men way too old for him but no word spoken.

His manager wasn’t too mad at him at first although he wasn’t exactly happy either. They continued. Their deal with the brand way too important, his schedule for the next year was already planned and packed because of it, other deals declined solely because of that. Losing it due to the company being dissatisfied with him blocking them further deals would mean losing a lot of money. It would mean troubles for Baekhyun. So he tried to be a good boy, do everything he could. He tried so much, being cute, being seductive, sophisticated, dumb, soft spoken, intelligent. Most of the time Chanyeol wouldn’t even give him a chance to talk with him though.  
At a movie premiere Baekhyun was sitting next to him and he noticed how big the rapper was, noticed the tattoo on his wrist with a number on it. He had complimented it with an impressed look one his face but everything Chanyeol did was pushing his sleeve down to conceal it. Baekhyun was happy the movie was sad, because no one questioned his tears once the light got dimmed. Rejection was hard.

It happened over and over up until the point Baekhyun almost went into panic attacks once he was told he had to go somewhere. Why were they so relentless? He was trying for weeks now, it did not work. Their partner company got madder every single day and Baekhyun was the receiving end of it. The atmosphere around him was tense and he tried to endure it for as long as he could. His dealer was pleased with how frequent his orders were. Desperation could make a lot of money.

It took a month and a half until Baekhyun was on his knees, begging his manager to make it stop. He could not take it. Loey had been someone he had looked up to so much, cherishing his music and his every part of existence. But he could not listen to any of Loey’s music anymore, what once was a safe place in his mind for him, had now turned into a dark corner Baekhyun did not wish to go anymore. Being turned down every single time, not even worth a response or a glance, by now Chanyeol simply stood up and left the moment he saw Baekhyun, was completely destroying what was left from him.  
The response was immediate, another hit but it was not the most painful out of his actions. They still sent him out to events to /hunt/ for Chanyeol occasionally, but not as frequent anymore. They needed to make sure their partner company saw they were still putting effort into fixing the issue. But what they would focus on now was fishing for new opportunities and money to further the agency. What it meant for Baekhyun was simple.  
Meeting rich men and being their personal escort for a day, under the pretense of business dinners of course. Baekhyun was used to them, but not like this. They pushed him even more, squeezed in as much as they could between his regular schedules and photoshoots. It was like they milked him for every penny they could in case they and Baekhyun would get dropped from their current brand deal. Sabotaging the company’s success was a clause and there was a possibility they would use it against them. A lawsuit was close. So they needed to save their name and their stocks. And they did it on Baekhyun’s back. 

He had never gotten much sleep in the past 8 years, but now it decreased even more. Cocaine made him more sustainable with not much sleep, but even drugs had their limits. Pretty much the only time he had left to sleep was in the bed of a complete stranger, a rich CEO or just a well off client, but Baekhyun could never even close an eye in those moments. Too busy with trying to calm his mind, repeating his mantra of how it will be over soon.   
His staff noticed, they sometimes let him sleep while they got him ready, but the most they did was concealing his heavy eyes as best as they could.

It was the after show of an award ceremony both Baekhyun and Chanyeol were invited where they met the next time. This time it was not intentional, just both of their status as celebrities putting them there. It has been over two weeks after the last time, some clubbing Baekhyun got dragged to attend but got ignored. At least the cocaine was free that night.   
This time they did not seat together, the event planned months ahead and his management could not change the seating arrangements. Baekhyun was happy, he was sitting in the front rows though so he had be there all the time, since the camera focused a lot on him in the crowd while all he wished was to leave for a bit and just sleep. Baekhyun had begged his manager to leave after the official part was over but he wouldn’t listen, instead handing him a drink and telling him to shut up.  
Baekhyun surrendered, looking into his drink that was way too sour for him and burned unpleasantly on his tongue while his manager caught everyone that wanted to approach him and he was thankful for that at least. Eventually he got pushed into the background of things and he went mostly ignored, he appreciated it. His drink long forgotten, he looked out of the window of the penthouse location, wondering if someone would stop him if he would just jump. Every kind of sleep sounded so good right now. Even eternal one.

With his eyes wandering to the entrance of the outside patio, he noticed a tall figure going outside.  
Baekhyun looked to his manager and staff, conversing and being otherwise occupied. They did not see the tall rapper, so no need for them to push him into his direction. To make him humiliate himself some more.

So why was it that Baekhyun moved out of his own motivation, following the tall, imposing man that had rejected and ignored him so many times it had only fueled his messed up head, leaving only the disgusting drink behind at the bar?

They were the only ones on the spacious balcony, the skyline of Seoul so pretty in its view, stars shining brightly today. Chanyeol’s cigarette could be one among them, for the tip lighting up for the split of a second. Baekhyun decided to watch him warily for a few moments, taking in the handsome form. The bleached blonde hair, the black silk shirt and the stylish leather pants with shiny boots. He could be a model himself, Baekhyun thought. The way he carried himself was so majestic, he definitely would own a catwalk, demanding its whole attention for himself.

Baekhyun made some wary steps as Chanyeol took a drag, the smoke a faint silhouette in the darkness, patio only lit up by a few decorative lanterns. He swallowed harshly, his hands shaking so badly that he dug his hand into his thigh so they would stop moving. He needed to finally put an end to this. The boy looked over the handrail, they were on the top, the ground hundreds of meters apart from them. Tonight it was either Chanyeol that put an end to this, or it was gravity.   
„M…Mr. P-park.“ Voice barely a voice, Baekhyun hadn’t really spoken in a few days so it felt foreign, he was a bit hoarse. Chanyeol turned and gave him a glance. He groaned and Baekhyun really felt like jumping. The rapper looked at the skyline once again, eyes fixed on the moving lights in the sky, probably airplanes and took a quick drag from his smoke, trying to get the most out of it. Then he just flicked it over the railing with his fingertips. Just like that. Baekhyun watched it, both with fear and envy. Chanyeol had decided for him.   
Yet Baekhyun did not move into that direction, instead he turned with Chanyeol, who was already on his way back inside, not willing to give him so much as another second of his time.   
The model winced, tears and exhaustion making it hard to move, yet he did it as best as he could. Little fingers wrapping itself around Chanyeol’s wrist. The one that had the tattoos imprinted on. He noticed how small his hands looked next to Loey’s and for a split second he wondered if he would hit him. So when Chanyeol turned around he flinched, too used to hastic movements resulting in pain. The rapper did notice it though and slowed down.  
There was annoyance in his dark eyes, something he was used to by now, Chanyeol wouldn’t give him any other gaze. But there was also something different, something that reminded him of their first encounter back in the restroom almost four months ago.  
Now, Baekhyun was desperate. He did not possess any strength anymore to play, to act, to put on a facade in the hopes of it actually working because nothing had ever worked. Chanyeol did not want cocky Baekhyun, shy Baekhyun, sexy Baekhyun, cute Baekhyun, probably any Baekhyun he assumed. So all he could offer was himself. And he was so utterly broken right now.

„Please.“ He begged. „P-please… talk to me. What do I have to do so you talk to me? Ill do it I swear. I don’t want to get hit again, please…“ He didn’t want to, but the tears were overwhelming him and he sobbed.   
„They… they… I just want to sleep, okay?“ With the tears blurring his vision and his hands on Chanyeol’s wrist trembling, he started to ramble, not knowing what he was saying.   
"Please, they don’t let me sleep and I already got in trouble because I fainted at the photoshoot earlier, please.. Loey.. I… want this to end…“

His knees finally gave in, fatigue too strong and Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered close for a second, he did not care about the impact. Could he finally just fall asleep? It had been almost 30 hours now. But it was not concrete, that he felt crushing his knees. It was a strong arm around his waist instead, keeping him upright. 

So tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think!


	3. we only make it out alone

Chanyeol sighed, how exactly did this happen? He just wanted to go out for a smoke, escape all these annoying celebrities, and now he had an arm full of an half conscious boy. Byun Baekhyun even, out of all the people in the world.  
No one had annoyed him as much as the supermodel Byun Baekhyun for the past months. He actually could not believe how someone could be this persistent and disgustingly desperate. Everything he had heard about the smaller were things Chanyeol despised. The way he acted, the way he presented himself was so off. The media described him as arrogant and unreachable. He remembered what Sehun told him. His friend has had a brief career in the fashion industry, working as an ambassador for a few brands before he fully dived into music and choreographing. He had told him about how hard it was to work with Baekhyun. The constant people around him and the fuss that was made about him. On top of that he never bothered to talk to anyone, even when questions were directed towards him they were answered by his management. Chanyeol thought of this behavior to be very rude.   
He was not a fan of the model community in general, thought it to be artificial, whoever spiraled down there was detestable in his eyes. And Baekhyun had spiraled fast and deep. The rapper could never imagine being so superficial and never sharing his beliefs. Baekhyun was way too quiet, never bothering to listen or give his opinions. Especially at his age he should be sharing his beliefs. Loey was known as someone that was never afraid to use his voice, had become an opinion leader in his genre and he took great pride in that.  
All of this made Chanyeol feel icky about the persona that Baekhyun was. There were even rumors about him having a lot of liaisons with older, rich men which only made things weirder. No one doubted that his work as a model wasn’t on par and on top of his era, but as a human no one could tell why someone should like someone like Baekhyun. He was arrogant and made to be unreachable. Chanyeol did not like that.

But the person in his arm was so… small. Chanyeol observed him for a few seconds. The black outfit he was wearing was made to look like a royal uniform, with silver details and lining, intriguing chains and earrings on his skin, deep smokey eyes and prettily curled hair. All dolled up, Chanyeol thought. In fact, he seemed to resemble a little prince. The royalty of the industry, how fitting. 

Baekhyun was not asleep, Chanyeol noticed. His eyes would flutter open occasionally and his little hands pressed against his chest, trying to support himself although it was not really working. Little words of „please“ rolling over his lips, almost not made to be understood. The rapper thought about the prior words, about how small his voice had sounded. Totally different from what he had expected. Also, what did he mean by all this rambling? He seemed very afraid and distressed. He was tired, so much he could tell, but all the other things? Who was hurting him? They? Chanyeol was very confused, but in this moment, there was not much he could do. Baekhyun was clinging onto him for dear life and he knew he could not leave the model alone in this state. Chanyeol had a good heart, so he decided he could put his judgement aside for a while to at least get the boy out of the location before he got himself in a scandal because right now it did not look good. He seemed intoxicated and way too off to operate in public. He was also very positive Baekhyun had some drugs on him, the boy way too obvious in his opinion, but that might just be Chanyeol being used to all the drug habits around him.

The rapper was familiar with the location so he knew about the second exit on the balcony, that led to a more private hallway where he could leave the building to some back alley. It was a bit hard to maneuver his way without being caught by anyone and with someone that barely moved on his own, but he managed. Chanyeol was of an athletic built and the model weighed almost nothing, courtesy of his profession, he thought.  
He did feel some sympathy though, as he looked out for a cab, Baekhyun leaning against his chest with closed eyes, still muttering his pleas, little fists grabbing his silk shirt as Chanyeol had his arm wrapped around his chest. It felt way too close but there was not much he could do. 

However, once he caught a cab, there was another problem. Where the fuck did Baekhyun need to go? There was no wallet on him that Chanyeol could make out and even when the rapper asked, Baekhyun did not answer. He contemplated on going back, but something in him decided against it. Instead, he shoved the younger in the taxi and followed, too. They pulled up at his own apartment, not even 15 minutes later and Chanyeol sighed yet again. 

With a boy he wanted to not be involved with at all clinging onto him as he entered his apartment, there were not much options. By now the smaller was sleeping and Chanyeol was tired, too.   
He figured things could wait until tomorrow, especially when he looked at the closed eyes, dark smokey eyes smudged by tears. Beneath the make up, all he could see was a very tired and very sad boy. Chanyeol somehow felt for him, there must be a reason that he approached /him/ out if all the people, after all these obvious rejections. Was there no one else for him? 

It was around 11am when Chanyeol woke up, the light from the large window blinding him. He groaned and rose up, confused for a second because he was in the living room. But then he remembered the small boy currently laying in his bed. His guest room was a mess right now and he had been dead tired, so he figured crashing on the couch while Baekhyun got his be was the easiest option. The rapper immediately went to his bedroom, curiosity getting the best of him and, granted, the model was still sleeping there. Chanyeol had taken off his shoes and pants and also the blazer he had worn, figuring it must have been extremely uncomfortable otherwise. So the boy was clad in his silky white dress shirt and his underwear, but covered by his thick blanket, only his head peaking out. Hair tousled and make up almost gone.  
Between his white sheets he looked like a little angel, so small and vulnerable. Chanyeol realized that Baekhyun was actually very young. Only barely legal even. Still, he was treated like and adult and made to resemble one. But right now he looked nothing like it. More like what he actually was, a boy.   
Chanyeol did not dare to get closer than just a few steps into the big room, not wanting to wake Baekhyun up. He would get his answers eventually. So the tall rapper decided to let the boy sleep a bit longer and instead take a shower and then made breakfast while checking his phone. Yifan had texted him, asking why he dipped in the middle of the party as they were attending it together since they had been collaborating together for the past weeks. He was chill though so he wasn’t mad ad Chanyeol leaving earlier.   
While setting up the dishes, he surprisingly felt not annoyed at his strange guest. He could swear he was loathing the famous model for the past month, only the mention of his name, Byun Baekhyun, had been enough to ruin his mood for the whole day. Seeing his dolled up face had ruined countless of events and parties for him in the past weeks. But it felt like the person peacefully sleeping was someone totally different. 

He even felt a bit bad for the boy when he went again with the goal to wake him up, he had seemed so exhausted yesterday. But he figured it was the best. He went to pick up his jacket too where his phone was stored. The battery was dead so he quickly went to his nightstand to plug it in and turn the phone on.   
The movement seemed to wake him up and Chanyeol watched him as the dark brown mop of hair stirred up, raised from where his cheeks were squished against his pillow.   
Baekhyun opened his eyes slowly and softly whimpered and to Chanyeol, he looked like a little puppy getting up from a nap. It was when the smaller looked around and his brain finally processed that his surroundings were foreign, that he suddenly rose awake. He sat up immediately. A terrified expression on his face that Chanyeol was surprised by. How could he look so frightened?   
„It’s alright.“ The tall man said, noticing how Baekhyun flinched as he looked at the man that stood next to the bed.   
„L-loey…“ He said in a quiet voice, calming down a bit and then looking at himself, noticing that some of his clothes were missing. Then he looked at Chanyeol, took in the state he was in. The small boy opened his mouth.

„D-did we…?“ 

Chanyeol looked down on himself, he was only wearing sweatpants, abs on full display. He shook his head and Baekhyun seemed visibly relieved. Should he be offended?   
„Am I not your type?“ Chanyeol joked. The model was rumored to go for more of the older type, but maybe he was still to young for him at 26. But Baekhyun did not laugh, instead he seemed even more distressed about it.   
„C-can you put something on, please?“ He asked, it sounded more like he was begging, though. Chanyeol raised an eyebrow, but nodded, not that he cared. He grabbed one of his sweaters that was laying around and threw it over, dark fabric covering his toned skin.   
For how revealing the model’s photoshoots and pictures could be, he seemed very prudish. He didn’t think he’d be bothered by some nudity. And for the way Baekhyun had tried to approach and flirt with him, he thought there were at least a bit of attraction there. Wasn’t Baekhyun known to get around quite a bit?   
.   
But he did not know how about the countless times Baekhyun had woken up to these situations and how it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Chanyeol then went to carefully hand him the just plugged in phone, figuring he would want to check it. He had pretty hands, Chanyeol noticed now, they just tremble da bit as they took it wordlessly.   
Baekhyun behaved very weirdly, he figured as his eyes went wide while looking at his phone.   
„What … what time is it…?“ He asked, eyes drawn to the clock on his phone. This was a mistake, right?“ Chanyeol crooked his head in interest.   
„Around noon.“Baekhyun’s face got pale. „Noon???“ How long had he been sleeping? He had schedules!! Slender finger quickly typing in his phone pin so he could access it and was instantly flooded with messages, calls and notifications. He was supposed to be somewhere already two hours ago. He looked even more terrified when his phone started to ring and he could see someone calling him. His manager. Baekhyun winced, hands shaking and he dropped the phone on his lap. What should he do? The smaller’s heart was beating loudly, panic rising inside of him and it became hard to breath.

He was so done, the amount of shit he would get for being late and oversleeping would be horrific. His battery was empty so they couldn’t track him, they must be furious now.  
The caller hung up again and Baekhyun read skimmed through some messages in fear for a few seconds and then his manager was calling him again. This time he knew he couldn’t ignore him. So he took the call with trembling hands, eyes fixed on the white blanket covering his lap. He did not even get to say anything.   
„Baekhyun, where the fuck are you?“ The voice so loud that even Chanyeol could hear it. Baekhyun’s mouth opened, but nothing would come out, too scared.   
„You were supposed to be here hours ago, how hard is it to be on time? Where did you even go last night, I fucking told you to stay.“ Baekhyun’s lip was quivering and he slowly looked up to Chanyeol, eyes glistening with tears and the fear that the rapper saw in those wide eyes made him even more confused. What the hell was going on? „I swear to god when you get here-„ It was then that Chanyeol leaned down to the phone so he was within reach.

„He is with me.“ Chanyeol’s voice was unique, so deep and memorable that everyone would recognize it. Loey’s voice was all over media and praised to be different, so everyone knew it. There was pause on the phone.   
„I’ll clear your schedule, Baekhyun. Stay.“ Then the phone clicked and the call ended. And honestly, Chanyeol was only confused some more. He had already figured out, that Baekhyun had been on a mission to fish for him, getting him back on that brand deal he had declined. But all of this seemed suspicious.

Baekhyun covered his face with his hands once the call was over, trying to avoid any more tears although it wasn’t really working, trying to calm his heart down from jumping out of his chest. That had been scary. 

He was already too exhausted for this day, he had gotten a solid 8 hours of sleep, the most he had gotten in literal years, yet it seemed like he used all the energy up with that one call. Without Chanyeol he would have been in hell right now, on his way to a place where he did not want to be.  
Speaking of it, he could not really say he wanted to be in this place either. The model slowly looked up now, warily so. Loey did not look at him like the past months, he did look very irritated. Baekhyun lowered his gaze and Chanyeol thought he looked so miserable. This was not the cocky and arrogant model Byun Baekhyun that everyone knew. This was just a little boy.Chanyeol sighed. 

„You want me to talk to you, right?“, he asked and it was enough to make Baekhyun look up.  
Baekhyun nodded, wiping away his tears with his fist, he looked like a toddler, not the supermodel that had an almost nude picture of himself on display on a billboard literally down the street. He noticed how the younger desperately tried to change his expression, desperately tried to gain some confidence back. But it simply did not work. 

„But I think you are the one that really needs to talk, though.“ Chanyeol said.

„But first, how about you take a shower and I finish up breakfast, hm?“ Chanyeol’s voice got a little softer now, finding it hard to stay serious when those big eyes were looking up at him like a kicked puppy. He picked a shirt, socks and some sweatpants from his dresser and placed them on the bed. He then pointed at his ensuite bathroom with Baekhyun following his gesture. „There is the bathroom, just take whatever you need.“ He explained and Baekhyun nodded, mumbling a small „Thank you“ and then Chanyeol left, leaving the boy to his privacy.

He was irritated. What had just happened? Who exactly was that boy inside his apartment?

Baekhyun made sure he could lock the door as he entered the bathroom, relieved when he found out it was possible, privacy was valuable. He sighed loudly, this was hard. His heart was still beating loudly, having a hard time to control himself. He could not really believe it, was he free today? He couldn’t even remember the last time he had a day without anything to do. It was surprising, that he could get off the hook like this. Baekhyun pushed away the thought that he had no power in this, even then, Chanyeol, a complete stranger, had achieved what he couldn’t with the simple use of his voice. But right now he did not want to care, he would take what he would get. Chanyeol would not make him do hours of shoots and filming and would most likely not push him around and maybe he would also not yell at him, so that was enough for the small boy. His expectations weren’t high. Just a few hours of relaxation after years of exhaustion, Baekhyun thought as he shed his clothes and slipped into the shower.

He looked even smaller now, Chanyeol noticed as a mop of dark brown hair walked into his kitchen warily, hair fluffy and bangs falling down into his face. His clothes dwarfed the model. Sweatshirt hanging on his tiny frame, coming down almost to his knees. The pants he had to tie around his waist and roll them up so he wouldn’t slip.   
Chanyeol was above average in height and worked out regularly so his frame was broad, his biceps thick. Baekhyun was slender, fragile almost, and a lot shorter so the picture of the tiny boy in his clothes was quite adorable. His make up had been smudged, but now with his face completely bare he finally looked like the boy he was. It was totally abstract when thinking about how Baekhyun was closing fashion weeks on the catwalk when he looked like this, small.  
„Come, sit. I made breakfast, are you hungry?“ Now, this was a question, Baekhyun did not know how to answer. He was always hungry, but usually he just said no. It had become a habit, a model was never hungry. Chanyeol seemed to notice the hesitation in his answer, so he just pulled back a chair and gestured for the boy.   
„Well, I am a very decent cook, so you have to try some, right?“ And Baekhyun found himself nodding, sitting down. He could not decline, right? His company wanted him to adhere to Chanyeol, right? If it came with a filled stomach, what was he supposed to do? The little loophole was enough for Baekhyun to make up his mind at Chanyeol’s breakfast looked delicious.  
He had his issues with eating, it came along with his profession, but he did a decent job in his opinion. Eating slowly and thanking Chanyeol for the meal in a quiet voice as the rapper watched him more than he ate himself.

When Baekhyun looked up, Chanyeol turned his eyes away and took a sip of his coffee, and for some reason it brought the smaller back into reality. The reality of months in which the person in front of him had treated him like scum, like an annoyance. It stung in Baekhyun’s chest and he dropped his chopsticks.

"Do you hate me so much?" He asked, not looking up and Chanyeol raised his head, finding Baekhyun to be chewing on his lips nervously. And Chanyeol did not know what to answer.   
Yesterday he would have totally said yes, he had thought of the model to be absolutely despicable. A nuisance at best.   
"I am really sorry for the past months and weeks.“ The smaller continued.   
„I don't know if it helps but I really did not want to do it." Baekhyun explained, looking so incredibly small.   
"I even begged them to just let it go. All this rejection was awful, but they pushed me." He made a pause.   
"I wish I could just decide for myself, but I can't." This sentences he said in an even smaller voice, almost not to be understood.  
Baekhyun had /really/ wanted to die yesterday, he was sure he would have done it if Chanyeol hadn't taken him with him. He would have been dead by now, but instead he was sitting inside Loey’s apartment, small frame being watched by those dark eyes he had learned to actually fear. But maybe it was just the rejection in them.

„Is this all about me rejecting this deal?“ Chanyeol asked in honest curiosity. Baekhyun nodded.   
„Me and my company got in huge trouble for it, b-because you apparently mentioned my-my name.“ It was still hard to stomach how he was so unlikable, that Chanyeol even rejected such a lucrative deal in favor of not working with him.

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow at that.   
“To be completely honest with you, Baekhyun, I was never hooked on actually taking that deal.“ He started and that definitely got the smaller’s attention.   
"They probably misunderstood me. When I saw you in that restroom at that festival I just made my final decision. I don't like when people like you invade events that are made about music and the experience. You were there because of that brand. The fact that you were there only made it more clear that I did not want to work with them. And that is what I told them." In retrospect, it seemed like a very big misunderstanding. Chanyeol did not reject the company solely because of Baekhyun, he had just been the push he had needed. It was the company’s fault, not the fault of a small, exploited boy. 

The model wanted to be angry. Angry at Chanyeol. He had been used like a chess piece for nothing. Had been used to fix an issue that couldn’t be fixed by him. In return, he had been through weeks of anxiety, of panic attacks and additional exhaustion for something that had never been in his hand to begin with.   
But he could not be angry. Instead, tears would suddenly flow, a heavy weight that had been looming over his head for weeks, crushing his shoulders. He just cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured I could update this more frequently, most of us have nothing to do anyway so why not. let me know what you think!


	4. ridin' on the last train home

Chanyeol did not know at all how to deal with this. The sobs and cries laid painful in his ears, although he was sure it could not measure to the pain that must be inside of the boy in front of him. He looked miserable, completely broken as he covered his face with his hands and just wailed. He seemed so broken and the rapper felt genuinely bad now. He had only gotten small pieces, but he slowly began to see the big picture. The Baekhyun the public knew was nothing like the real Baekhyun. He seemed very overworked and pressured. How long ago was it that the boy could sleep as long as he did this night? How long was it that he had a cooked meal like this? Suddenly all those things Sehun and other people in the industry told him about Baekhyun seemed irrelevant and had to be observed from a totally different perspective. 

He did not know what to do, so he just sat there in uncomfortableness, waiting for the boy to calm down, moving across the table to get some tissues and softly shove them to Baekhyun who did not seem to notice.  
If crying for an eternity was what made the small boy open up, Chanyeol would wait.  
And, granted, Baekhyun cried until he couldn’t anymore. Eyes red and throat sore. Slowly, the whimpers would be not as frequent and his chest would hurt a little less every minute. The pain was not gone, but it felt like he could release at least a bit of it. He warily looked up, with puffy eyes, embarrassment kicking in as he realized he had wailed like a baby I front of the Park Chanyeol, Loey. But he was only greeted with a kind smile, the taller putting effort into soothing and not seeming judgemental. He must been trough a lot.   
He then gestured to the tissues and small, slender hands hesitantly reached out to pull one out to dry his cheeks. They were puffy now, his make up stylist would scold him for that later, but he shoved the thought away. 

„I-i am s-sorry…“ He mumbled, carefully dabbing the soft paper against his skin. Chanyeol shook his head.   
„Don’t be. It seems like am the one that should be sorry.“ He said, voice a little more heavy now. „My Intention was not to make you suffer. I just wanted my peace.“ He explained and Baekhyun nodded.   
„I wanted that, too.“ He mumbled and it sounded so broken that Chanyeol’s insides clenched.   
„I am deeply irritated though, making you do this is highly unprofessional from both your management and company, but also this partner company.“ Baekhyun furrowed his brows in confusion.   
„It has always been like that.“ He mentioned. Chanyeol did not like it how this doesn’t seem out of place for the boy.

„What were they thinking, though?! You are not a whore.“ Baekhyun flinched, eyes going wide and then he turned his face away. If only Chanyeol knew. The rapper got confused yet again at that behavior but he chose not interrogate, it was not his place to ask too many questions. But he remembered to keep this in the back off hid mind.

There was an awkward pause of Baekhyun sniffling into his tissue occasionally , gradually feeling more and more embarrassed and guilty over his outbreak while occasionally aChanyeol sipping his coffee, trying to make sense of the whole situation.

„Baekhyun.“ His voice was exceptionally deep the boy noticed yet again, he liked them in his songs. He was able to portray so many emotions and feelings with it, Baekhyun really liked that.   
„Please keep in mind that I won’t pressure you and I won’t tell you what you have to do, alright?“ Tone serious, he waited for Baekhyun to nod, who seemed unable to follow what Chanyeol tried to do. The concept of someone checking up on his own mind like this was foreign to him. He nodded nevertheless, even if he was scared about what was to follow.   
„Good. Is there anything you want to talk to me about? Is there anything I can help you with?“ The boy crooked his head, hair falling into his face some more. 

„H-help?“ 

Chanyeol wanted to curse loudly. He was literally just a boy.   
„Helping with what?“ He asked, what even could the Rapper do to help him? He was in this situation for almost a decade now. He did not know anything different. Had stopped dreaming of a life that was different. It was not possible.   
„Listen, I don’t know what is going on with you behind the scenes, but there are a lot of red flags that I encountered just in the past 12 hours. I doubt whatever your company and management does is even legal.“ He tried to explain, feeling himself getting agitated at how clueless Baekhyun was. Did he even know his rights?   
„They keep you up for too long, right? You told me you fainted at a photoshoot, yet they made you go to that award show yesterday. Isn’t that alarming?“  
Baekhyun felt uncomfortable with Chanyeol saying those things loudly and he nervously tugged on the big shirt he was wearing. He kind of regret telling Chanyeol about this, it was so pathetic. The deep voice continued.   
„You understand what I am saying, Baekhyun, right? So if there is something I can do to help you, don’t shy away. I know we didn’t met on the best terms, but you actually don’t need to suffer more.“  
His voice sounded so serious, it sounded real. Baekhyun was used to not have a choice, getting told what to do. Being kept in a small room, barely able to breath because that also made him barely able to think. And if his mind was not allowed to work properly, he couldn’t think about trying to break free. Or about why he should break free in the first place. It was a despicable thing to do by the people around him, but it was all Baekhyun knew. It was all Baekhyun knew to do right. Functioning. 

And now this man was sitting in front of him, trying to tell him that all of this was wrong. That he could have done something against this. He suddenly felt so powerless, so dumb. Baekhyun was so used to this by now, the thought of escaping hard. Who was Chanyeol to tell him what was possible? He did not know anything. He didn’t know how trapped Baekhyun felt. How trapped he actually was. It was easy for Chanyeol to say those things. Easy for him to say many things. In fact, Chanyeol simply saying things had made Baekhyun suffer more, suffer for a cause that was pointless.   
There indeed was a part that wanted to accept his words, accept his help. But the boy simply couldn’t. The damage was done. He was tired.  
„C-can I go home?“ He just asked in a broken voice. Chanyeol sighed. 

Chanyeol wanted to do everything but that, yet he nodded. Baekhyun looked so afraid, he did not have the heart to scare him more with being intrusive to the issue. His little soul too scarred right now and the rapper could not find it himself to get angry about it, although a small part of him wanted to scream at Baekhyun because he /could/ get out of whatever was going on. He just needed to reach out to him. 

But he realized it was not the right time now and he had to leave it at that. This seemed to be the only quiet time he seemed to have in a long time so Baekhyun deserved to actually put it to good use. Hence why they moved quietly, the smaller searching for his clothes from the night before and putting on his shoes. The shiny designer boots looked so out of place with the way too big clothes he was wearing. It almost made Chanyeol smile as he gathered one of his caps and a face mask for Baekhyun to wear it. The model seemed to greatly appreciate the gesture. 

Baekhyun the model would never go out like that, every appearance was dressed to the nine. If there ever was a picture of him released dressing in such a way it would probably ruin his reputation or make people talk about him in a way he didn’t want to be talked about. He would like for people to never use his name at all, but there was nothing he could do about that.   
Also, for them to be seen together, leaving Chanyeol’s apartment complex, even if it was just through the private garage was a bit of a mission. There were always people lurking around his area since it was known for housing celebrities. So Baekhyun wearing a face mask and a cap that was pulled down his face while he drowned in those large clothes was necessary. Chanyeol looked so tall next to him, he noticed as he looked down on him while they went to his car. Chanyeol asked for Baekhyun’s address and Baekhyun answered curtly. It actually wasn’t that far.  
The ride was silent. Not even the radio on. Just the car driving. Baekhyun was nervously fidgeting with his sleeves, looking out of the window, trying to avoid every possibility of them crossing their gazes in any way. In fact, he was leaning against the window, hand now playing with the dooframe, pretty delicate fingers nudging the expensive material in nervousness. Chanyeol would throw a few glances at him here and there and his heart would sink every time. He could not stress it enough how small this boy was. How young he looked. He was almost still a child, too young to deal with all this.   
He wanted to find something to hold the boy back for a bit longer, get him to maybe open up more, but the ride was too short. The apartment complex familiar to Chanyeol, the car came to a halt. There was uncomfortable silence. A deep part within Baekhyun wanted to stay, Chanyeol had given him more comfort in the past hours than any other person around him had done in the past decade. He looked down at the large hands covering his wheel and he wondered how well those hands could hold him.  
But he knew this all was just a small glimpse of something he couldn’t have. No point in trying to get more.  
„Will there be someone waiting in your apartment? A manager or staff?“ Baekhyun shook his head, living alone was a rare luxury he still had, although it could be very lonely, too.  
„Alright, don’t tell anyone you’re alone, just tell them you’re with me, alright? This gives you a few hours more, right?“ Baekhyun looked up in surprise, that made sense. His managers even cleared his schedule, they wouldn’t say anything, right? It was a good idea and actually very thoughtful, he noticed. Chanyeol gave him a small smile but he couldn’t give him one in return.

„Th-thank you for taking care of me. I… I will make sure the clothes will get back to you.“ He just said, opening the door, wanting to leave the car since he started to feel restricted in the small space with him.  
„Baekhyun.“ The boy stopped, but didn’t want to look back. „Remember, if there is something I can help you with, just reach out, yeah?“  
Barely a nod, Baekhyun was out of the car, closing the door and only faintly looked back at Chanyeol before he quickly made his way inside the building. The rapper was confused, it was like the boy was fleeing. He had looked so incredibly sad. 

When Baekhyun entered his apartment, he could barely make a step until he sunk onto the ground, tears overflowing in his eyes, blurring his vision. But his apartment was dark and he was alone, so no one would see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you think!


	5. i just keep on hopin' that you call me

The following days were lifeless, at least for Baekhyun. He felt even weaker, even more powerless. He had slept for the most time of the day after the award show, but now he was even more tired.  
After his encounter with Loey he felt uncomfortable to say the least. He suddenly felt like an idiot, spilling things that should not be spilled. And for what? Getting told that all of his suffering was useless. But he tried acting like before, there was no point in anything else. He could not afford any more display of weakness.

Baekhyun was known as the silent star, the one that everyone admired but also secretly despised exactly because of it. The past two weeks had been stressful, his little day of freedom had only made him sadder. Apart from the mental toll it had taken on him because of Chanyeol and his offer, it had also shown him a glimpse of something he would never get. silence for his own. While he was always quiet, the people around him weren't. so this was a contrast he was not used, too.  
He was back to being overworked, tired and scared. His manager seemed a bit irritated by now. According to Baekhyun's words, the meet up with Loey went okay, Baekhyun had even showed him the clothes he had received. His managers were very pleased with that and Baekhyun had felt disgusted. they probably thought they had slept together, that he had just offered his body to chanyeol. It made him feel so dirty and icky, not just because of the sheer act, but also because it implied that they thought Chanyeol to be like this, too. They thought he would get swayed by the pure implication of a pretty body against his own when it wasn't like that at all. He wouldn't have to humiliate himself for months if it was like that. He neither liked the thought of himself being pushed into that box nor the thought of Chanyeol being made out to be this kind of a person. He did not understand why it bothered him though.

Park Chanyeol.... Baekhyun had thought often about him, whenever he gathered a bit of free time, he would thinking about him, would sleep in the large clothes he had given. Even intoxicated and dead tired, they gave him some for of comfort. The mixture of laundry detergent and sometimes very own, something very Chanyeol, calmed him down and the large clothes made him feel secure. Like enveloped in a comforting embrace. Baekhyun often thought about strong, tattooed arms.

His company, however, started to get impatient by the end of the first week, thus their mood towards Baekhyun changed, too. They still hadn't heard anything back from their deal or Chanyeol, they diligently checked his phone for any conversations he might have with Chanyeol but there of course were none. Baekhyun almost scoffed at that. Even if their were messages, he wouldn’t be that stupid.

Baekhyun sometimes understood the harshness of his managers, they got a lot of pressure from the higher ups, too. So of course they would take it out on Baekhyun. So he accepted getting shoved around and yelled at without feeling resentment towards them. He had messed up, right? It was normal to get mad for them. It had always been like that.  
So working was even harder those two weeks, he got pushed even more. Baekhyun listened obediently, he had a fashion week to attend, one to walk himself, a couple of Photoshoots and two magazine covers. Apart from that his own companies yearly shoot came up. He wasn't really a fan of those. When he was younger, he got completely disregarded by the top tier models at that time. They thought they were better than him. Then they started hating him because he had taken their place as the most sought after in the industry. Undeservingly in their opinion, they still thought they were better than him. Now everyone tried to be friendly to him but Baekhyun knew about the despicable things they had said about him behind his back. Calling him a whore and a gold digger, how the only thing he was good at was seducing men. But all Baekhyun did was smile at them, pretending he didn't hear their slander and remained quiet. Things never changed.  
The pictures would look gorgeous, portraying the company models like a family. But it didn't feel like it. Baekhyun didn’t know what a family was.

He had tried to not do cocaine for some reason, but had given up after the third day of another packed schedule. He was too tired and too sad and he knew the white powder would conceal his distress like snow.  
Overall things became miserable again, every day was harder and harder. It was a routine, Baekhyun knew, one that was all to familiar. So with this all to familiar life came back his all to familiar thoughts of vanishing.

His company got a call after two weeks. 

Baekhyun was surprised and disappointed at the same time. Apparently their brand deal had called them in a positive manner, inviting them for a meeting.  
That day his staff was nicer to him, too.

Baekhyun was disappointed that he hadn't heard from Chanyeol himself, something must have happened, right? But then he pulled himself back into reality. He had rejected him, what did he expect? The boy scolded himself internally for having such a scandalous thing as hope, even daring to feel safe and sound while wearing those large clothes, almost like Chanyeol would come and save him. A thought he shoved away. It was too late. 

——

The two days before the meeting, his managers made sure to drill all kinds of information into him. They told him how to behave, how to talk, what to answer. Baekhyun did not plan on talking much, he didn’t really need to. His company did a good job at marketing him as the unreachable celebrity, he only rarely got inquiries about MC jobs or interviews. He knew his company sometimes published interview, although they rarely reflected him and his beliefs.   
So he knew they didn’t expect much from him, yet his management liked to make sure he was ready if the case would happen.  
When the day came, he found himself nervous. Very nervous. Cocaine wouldn’t even cut it for him, usually he was okay for at least the first 20 minutes after taking it. Perfect to ease down the earl tension before such an important occurrence. This time it did not help and Baekhyun felt lost.

However, the smile on his face immediately emerged upon the opening of the meeting room they were invited to, a practice Baekhyun had perfected by now. The CEO of their partner brand smiled at him and so did his employees, Baekhyun returned it and bowed in respect.   
He knew that the CEO had requested for a private dinner with him, he knew it before he got told because the glances at him were obvious. Him and his company have yet to find a day to match with their schedules, so he could call that luck. But Baekhyun knew it was coming and he did not look forward to it.  
He shoved the thought away.

The model had just sat down with the rest of the group when the door opened again and /he/ entered. Baekhyun could only look for a short moment before he turned his eyes down, still not ready to face Park Chanyeol.   
He felt his presence, though. Clearly. His scent invaded his nostrils, the very own scent that had lulled Baekhyun into sleep at night. The scent on the clothes was slowly fading away so getting hit with it again was similar to what he felt going on a high, almost like it was conditioned comfort. Anxiety was still deep within his chest but it got more bearable.

The rapper looked good, ripped jeans, a denim jacket thrown over a graphic tee and expensive sneakers. Out was obviously an unprofessional attire but Chanyeol was known not to care, also it was his style, it was Loey, it was exactly what the company was aiming for.  
His manager was sitting down beside him as they took their seats, right across from Baekhyun and his management and it felt very different. He knew that Chanyeol was independent, he knew the person next to the rapper was not here to dictate or lead his side of the conversation. He was a mere adviser, the ultimate decision laid in the tall man’s hand. Baekhyun envied him as he bowed his head in a greeting. 

He then slowly raised his head again and found Chanyeol’s eyes to be glued onto him. He acknowledged the model with a small nod and something akin to as a smile, hiding it away under a stoic facade, and Baekhyun /blushed/. 

Chanyeol thought the model to be very pretty with those rosy cheeks. All natural and not artificial powder on his cheeks. It looked adorable. He had actually missed Baekhyun, his thought occupied by the small boy for two weeks now. At first he wanted to just forget it, wanted to give up, but those sad eyes and endless tears would not leave his head. There had been many different emotions regarding the whole ordeal. But when looking at Baekhyun now, he knew the outcome of his contemplation was right.

With his both managers sat on each of his side, dwarfing the petite male, it looked so obvious. Chanyeol saw them in a very different light now. Before his ever present managers had given the impression of them protecting him, like bodyguards. But with the little pieces he had gathered, they weren’t there to protect him.

Baekhyun was back to top notch styling opposed to how he had looked in his apartment, wearing a velvety blazer tied together with a pretty sparkling belt and tight pants and boots. Eyes decorated with sultry dark eyeshadow, it was Baekhyun's signature look and Chanyeol figured this was to hide his tiredness. They shared another glance for a few seconds and Chanyeol tried to remain his stoic gaze but it was hard. His gaze softened again. He could clearly see how weighed down the small figure in front of him was, as opposed to everyone that just ignored whatever was behind the pretty face. But it was /so/ obvious.

Baekhyun's eyes looked like shattered glass. 

Pleasantries were exchanged, Chanyeol was all smiles with his managers and Baekhyun felt kind of betrayed. But he managed to gather back his own smile, instead listening to the CEO talking about how glad he was they had all found their way together like this.  
„You know, Mr. Park, we felt very sad about you declining our offer since we were really looking forward to work with you. We see a lot of potential for both you and our company with this deal.“  
Chanyeol smiled, a hint of cockiness in it, he knew he had the upper hand in this. Everyone around this table here to kiss his ass, he knew his demand. He was not relying on getting this, not at all. It was the opposite, he could just pick what he wanted, getting offers every day. And quite frankly, this one wasn’t even the best and most profitable one. He even figured he could get a bit of backlash for it in some parts of his following. But then his eyes shifted to Baekhyun for a split second and he knew this would make sense soon.  
„I totally understand. I was very opposed first, yes. I think now I see things a little differently.“ Chanyeol started, voice like honey as he lulled everyone into listen to him. It did feel good to have his voice matter like this, rapper knew, although he tried not to get consumed by the power it would give him. 

„I do have some requirements.“ His voice now harder and everyone at the table looked at Chanyeol and his manager in curiosity. 

„Oh? What are those requirements?“ The CEO asked, obviously not prepared to get confronted with a request like this. Chanyeol leaned back comfortably on the chair. „As far as the contract you had worked out for me so far it stated I would be advertising the clothing branch of your company.“ He started, enjoying how everyone was glued onto his lips. Baekhyun included, the small boy could not really make any sense of this. What was his intention?   
The CEO nodded.   
„Yes, I think you’re urban reputation and general style fits us very well, I think it would be a great journey to work with you.“ Chanyeol nodded.   
„I wholeheartedly agree with this. I do enjoy your brand for quite some time.“ He honestly did, he remembered being very ecstatic about the offer, but soon found it to be underwhelming in what it had to actually offer. But here he was.  
„But I want to expand my horizon, too. So I want to dive into other branches, too. One of which is your beauty and cosmetic branch.“ That had Baekhyun look up in surprise. Baekhyun was the face of their beauty and cosmetic branch. Panic gathered itself within his core and he looked left and right to his managers that seemed suddenly tense. Was Chanyeol trying to kick him out of the deal altogether? The boy suddenly got scared, that would only bring him more suffering, he would never be forgiven for setting up his own misery like this!His eyes were big as he looked at Chanyeol and the rapper clearly saw the rising panic.  
Well, Loey had thought about playing a bit more with them, he enjoyed the fun game of getting to be the one that dictates the atmosphere in the room. But seeing the model being at the verge of breaking down yet /again/, he decided against this. His aim was not to hurt more.

„I know Byun Baekhyun here is the current face and I am not planning on taking his spot.“ He quickly added, watching as the tension left the two managers beside Baekhyun.   
„I do want for us to work closely together, though.“   
The CEO looked between pretty little small Baekhyun and the tall, intimating rapper Loey for a few seconds.   
„What do you have in mind?“ He asked, not at all appalled by the idea. It had never been a topic since Chanyeol’s stance had always been quite clear towards certain things. This was completely new.   
Chanyeol now leaned forward, big hands resting on his table, intertwined in each other and Baekhyun could not help but look at them. The tattoos on his one arm looked very intriguing, the rings on his fingers making his hands even more imposing. He seemed so strong. He remembered how Chanyeol must have had carried him towards his apartment since he was barely conscious. Had he been too heavy?

„I am talking about campaigns together, commercials, photoshoots, products. My stance on this had always been clear but I am willing and curious now to look into this kind of industry some more. Maybe I’ll learn a thing or two.“ He smiled, a confident and cocky smile. He looked at Baekhyun now without any more hesitation now.   
„I am sure Baekhyun would benefit from this, too. And I am sure combining two branches like this with names like ours will reward your company quite nicely.“ 

There was stunned silence in the room. The CEO quietly talking with one of his employees while Baekhyun’s manager’s leaned into the model’s shoulders to discuss, too. Baekhyun just listened, it was not his choice to make anyway.  
Baekhyun was greatly confused, what was Chanyeol’s real intend? The small boy was worried, the way the rapper talked was so different, was this his real persona or was this just him negotiating? It felt like the rapper was both planning something malicious and cashing himself out. Wouldn’t Loey lose credibility if he worked so closely with someone of his kind? The deal with this company would be a lengthy one, this was not just for one or two or two quarters. Was Chanyeol really sure about this?

„You really are the genius people make you out to be, Mr. Park.“ The CEO said after he had came to a conclusion with his people.   
„I think this is a very good idea. The details still need a bit more finesse, but I am sure we can work something out. I know my marketing department can come up with splendid ideas regarding your input.“ He and Chanyeol shared a pleased smile, then the CEO turned to Baekhyun’s side of the table.   
„What is your opinion on this? Would you be up for that, Mr. Byun?“ He talked directly to him, his smile something Baekhyun did not want to face but he did regardless. His manager nudged him under the table and so the smaller nodded. Showing his dazzling smile and glowing cheeks.   
„I wholeheartedly agree with this idea. It would be a pleasure for me.“ He said, looking at Chanyeol and they both knew how fake their smiles were. 

„We should meet again to implement the details, I think we would need to work out a new contract for this.“ Baekhyun’s manager said, but the boy wasn’t really listening. He was so greatly confused about this. How had they come from Chanyeol not wanting to work with him under any circumstances to Chanyeol even requesting for them to be close knit partners?   
A part in him was happy for this, Chanyeol’s presence had turned into something soothing, but he was scared this would end soon. An even bigger part was fearing greatly for the last remaining sanity he had. Was Chanyeol playing a game? 

The rapper showed him a smile again as their staff discussed some things, only the two of them looking at each other. Chanyeol could still see panic in those large, sad eyes. His large hand came up to place it over his own heart, lightly tapping against his chest and Baekhyun crooked his head, eyes focused on the rapper’s lips. /It will be okay/ he mouthed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you like it. chanyeol finally starts to act! let me know what you think!


	6. you never took the time to get to know me

It took a month for all the involved parties to work out a contract and a schedule for the next 12 months with them meeting every couple of days. Baekhyun had only been present a handful of times, he was not in charge of this negotiation so when he was present, it was only for attendance. Baekhyun had a lot to do anyways and cramming in some meetings wasn’t working out. He actually didn’t see Chanyeol at all on those meetings since his his schedule was equally as packed, but Baekhyun had heard that he was more present than the model.   
They ran into each other a couple of times at events, but didn’t got much time to talk. They kept their public interaction lowkey. One time they shared a table at an official dinner and managed to exchange a few words here and there. Usually they were both kept busy. Chanyeol had a lot going on with his own music and a very lengthy collaboration with Kris Wu, an equally big name as Chanyeol in the music industry. They were usually there together, accepting awards or even performing. Baekhyun slowly found himself able to listen to this deep voice again without wanting to run away. 

„Why?“ Baekhyun had asked simply, thoughts never leaving his head. It was hard making sense out of the whole situation. Chanyeol just smiled. „You’re not alone anymore, Baekhyun.“ He had replied simply. It made the model feel warm. 

Baekhyun still found himself to be wary, the scars of Chanyeol treating him like something lesser, something annoying and despicable still deep engraved in his soul. In an industry that never been kind to him, it was hard for Baekhyun to believe that anyone wanted to be involved in who Baekhyun actually was, let alone helping him. Even if people were nice, they were usually backstabbing him or talking behind his back at some point. He was no fool, he /knew/ his position in this industry. He knew he was very successful, no matter how much of a failure he felt, it was engraved into his mind wherever he went, that he was at the top. It didn’t feel like this at all, but for other people he was was they aspired to be. And that made them horrible. Jealousy was dangerous, jealousy was ugly. Especially in his industry. Baekhyun was not used to kindness. So Chanyeol’s kindness took him of guard and it was hard to accept it.   
It was now one week until Chanyeol would be proclaimed as an ambassador next to Baekhyun. Two weeks from that there were concept photos of both of them together scheduled to be released. Baekhyun was laying in his bed, looking at his phone and with it his schedule for the next the. Tomorrow was his first official day working together with Chanyeol in a photoshooting. Anxiety was wilding within his chest. He was scared. Scared of many things.  
Scared of Chanyeol hating him again. Scared of Chanyeol realizing he didn’t want to work with him. But what Baekhyun was scared of the most was Chanyeol looking too closely. 

Despite his constant fatigue, Baekhyun found himself waking up early. He still had time sleep until he had to get up, something very rare, but he couldn’t fall asleep anymore. The day would be filled with Chanyeol and Baekhyun couldn’t stomach the excitement and anxiety that came with it. At last, he was glad that he didn’t eat before a shoot.   
His manager seemed surprised when he went to pick him up, Baekhyun would often over sleep because he was exhausted, so seeing him all up and ready was not that common.

The model had stopped wondering why they still continued to brief him like a rookie a while ago. He was almost a decade into the industry, he knew what his company wanted from him. But still, they kept drilling behaviorism into him, telling him what to do and how to behave. He had stopped listening, he knew. He was not as stupid as they thought he was. He had just given up.

He just looked out of the window of the car as his manager drove, feeling himself tensing up once they arrived at the at the set. By now he had stopped talking to him like he was dumb, instead he would hold him back when he was about to unbuckle and leave the car. He did not look at him though.   
„If you need to take something, do it now. No repeating of him seeing you doing that shit again.“ It was a threat, Baekhyun knew. It was humiliating, but he was used to it. He nodded and actually contemplated, hands wandering down to the pockets of his pants, where he knew he had stored some. But for some reason he decided against the powder, too scared of being too out of it. He could not fuck this up again. 

His staff was around him the minute he entered the dressing room and Baekhyun wished to hide, wanted to run from all those impression that were thrown at him. But he just took a deep breath and gave a quick greeting to their partner company’s attendees as well as the photographer and his staff. He put on his generic polite smile for them although he struggled to keep it up for too long. So after all the mandatory pleasantries were exchanged, he found himself going back to his puppet self, standing in front of the mirror and staring into his own face as clothes were held before him while the staff and his managers talked about the chosen looks for today as well as some additional changes. Baekhyun tried, but he could not find anything in his eyes as he stared at himself, wondering who could find his bland face interesting. He was so shallow. There was nothing.

They were about to pull him to his chair to start doing his hair and make up, when the spacious dressing room opened again. Baekhyun almost didn’t dare to look, but the deep voice was like honey, sweetness pulling him towards its source. Chanyeol had such an impressing way of taking in a room. His presence so powerful, it had everyone looking at him. He demanded attention with his sole aura and Baekhyun could not help but give it to him. He carried himself so well, wearing some sneakers, stylish sweatpants and a simple long sleeve together with some glasses. Hands wrapper around a leather briefcase, it was an odd combination. But Baekhyun thought it to be very fashionable, not everyone could pull it off like this. The model could not help but be impressed.  
He was all smiles and endearing greetings, everyone already in love with him - if they weren’t already before. Baekhyun found his behavior to be so warm, something so completely different from himself.

In fact, his warmness did not even stop when the tall rapper noticed Baekhyun. The small boy looking up at him and for a second he felt like the crying little boy in his apartment just a while ago. They shared a glance, Baekhyun’s heart beating so strongly it hurt and Chanyeol coming closer with a more timid smile now. Almost like he did not want to scare him with bearing to much onto him.   
The rapper felt Baekhyun to be like a shy deer, caught in the headlights so he approached him carefully.   
„Good Morning Baekhyun, all ready and prepared for this day?“ He asked, voice warm and Baekhyun had to try hard so it would not enveloping him whole, make him lean against him like it had happened that one faithful night where they finally crossed.   
This time it was harder to put on his facade. It felt even more fake, for Chanyeol already knew his real emotions, something he usually tried not to showcase in this industry. But nevertheless, he was no smiling at Loey, being his untouchable model self. Or he tried at least.   
„Good Morning, of course I am. I am looking forward working with you.“ He said, a generic phrase with no particular emotions, but his demeanor was more shy now and he hoped no one would tell.  
The rapper looked a bit confused at first, noticing the set distance between them, something he had thought was already something they crossed for some reason. 

But Baekhyun kept his guard up, not ready yet to trust this situation fully. So without further pleasantries exchanged, they got guided to their place for their stylists. Baekhyun noticed how little staff Chanyeol had with him. It was his manager, some assistant and his own personal stylist. That was it. It made sense though, the model thought. Baekhyun was used to all the staff around him, solely working to make him look pretty and make sure every last inch of his body was draped how it was meant to be. He had to be perfect. Chanyeol did not have this requirement, thus the lack of people. Baekhyun was very envious, he imagined it must have so much room to breath. 

Chanyeol found it interesting to watch Baekhyun getting ready. He was totally in sync with whatever the staff around him did. It did not faze him, they just put on whatever they seemed fit and the model let them do it. Granted, he did understand that as a model his purpose was to endorse a product and so the decision as to how it was portrayed laid not in his hand. It was not about the model, but about an endorsement. So he figured Baekhyun couldn’t interfere too much anyways. But still, Chanyeol observed him intensely as his stylist put his hair up, the boy looked like he was on autopilot. His body here, ready to be decorated in those skinny beige pants and the beige shirt that almost slipping down on one shoulder, it’s collar large enough to expose his collarbones. But his mind was not present, Chanyeol would love to know where he was exactly.   
He wondered if the boy had taken drugs. He was used to people in the industry being prone to substances, but for some reason it pained his heart thinking about Baekhyun doing them. He was a boy. He was too small, too fragile. He did not want him to break because of them. He already seemed so close to the edge. Who got him hooked on them? His eyes went to one of Baekhyun’s manager that was with him for the split of a second. If it was one of them that had suggested it maybe? Despicable.

When they had finished fussing about Baekhyun and finally deemed him done, Chanyeol finally got to chance to /look/ at him. Once again he totally understood how Baekhyun was where he was now, at the top and most requested in his industry. Baekhyun was ethereal. His built so slender, a bit too skinny for his opinion, but still, his body was so perfectly shape. His hands must be the prettiest hands that he had ever seen in his life, long and slender fingers, easily to compete with every female hands in how delicate they were. His face must be this out of this world, Chanyeol thought, for his features were perfect. Big eyes, a small nose and the most beautiful lips he had seen. His cheeks could be fuller, but nevertheless, he was setting new standards for beauty. 

It was only now that he realized that he was actually going to shoot with Baekhyun and he felt kind of stupid because he was so nervous. Baekhyun may be younger, but this was his environment wether he enjoyed it or not. There was no denying in how well he did his job, how every campaign he did was a guaranteed success. How every company fought to get to work with him. No matter how much people talked about the boy and his questionable reputation and rumors, there was no denying in his appeal.   
It both saddened and excited Chanyeol.  
He felt like a complete newbie suddenly. He was no stranger to endorsements or photoshoots, they were part of the profession. But he was no match to someone of Baekhyun’s caliber.   
Once again, Chanyeol could not understand how Baekhyun did not see the power he possessed. 

The location of their shoot was actually not inside, hence why they found themselves inside an elevator to access the top of the building. It was only them in the elevator they were in, Baekhyun would fiddle with his hands nervously while standing next to Chanyeol. Their reflection in the mirror right in front of them but Baekhyun was too shy to look. Chanyeol would see the small frame, once again realizing how beautiful Baekhyun was despite everything. 

„I am very nervous.“ The older said, making Baekhyun look up in confusion.   
„Nervous? Why?“ He asked, curiously. Why would Park Chanyeol, Loey, out of all the people be nervous? Was he afraid of heights maybe?

Chanyeol looked at him almost confused, like his question was irritating and Baekhyun suddenly felt like he did something wrong, but the rapper’s smile brought him back from those thoughts instantly. He liked how easy it was for Chanyeol to make him feel safe.  
„Are you joking? You are Byun Baekhyun. World’s famous model Byun Baekhyun. Everyone would be nervous to work with you.“   
That came as a surprise to the boy, for he had never thought about this.   
„R-really?“ He asked, suddenly so shy, a blush creeping on his face. He never really wondered how other people would think about working with him, he had no time for that. And quite frankly, other people were mostly unpleasant when he worked. He hadn’t made good experiences with them.  
„Of course, my forte might be music, but modeling next to you is quite a challenge.“ Chanyeol said, cheerfully and Baekhyun would only blush more. He averted his eyes and looked at the ground, couldn’t help the hint of a smile on his face at the praises. The boy then remembered that Chanyeol was in fact a musician and he got quite jealous of that.  
„W-well, if it was the other way around, I think I would feel the same.“ Baekhyun would say, this time his voice was even quieter, for he felt kind of scandalous saying this. He would lie if he said he didn’t wish to learn about the life of a music artist, too, let alone someone as successful and meaningful to him as Chanyeol. He had given up on getting more involved with music years ago, had realized that he was not destined to it. But his growing contact with Chanyeol had made him more curious again. He would even find himself humming to some songs in the shower or in the rare times he was alone. Something he had long given up on doing. 

„You’re right. How about we try that one day?“ Chanyeol would suddenly suggest and it took Baekhyun off guard. He looked at him in honest surprise, but was given no time to reply, for the door to the elevator was already opening and there was staff waiting already. The rapper send him a warm smile and went ahead, with Baekhyun’s thoughts occupied by the suggestion…. or was it even an offer?  
However, work called for him so he shoved his thoughts away like he was used to. They were at the highest floor of the building, the elevator did not go all the way up to the rooftop, so they had to went up to hatch on the ceiling by climbing a ladder. Chanyeol went first and Baekhyun found himself staring at how effortlessly he climbed up, his muscles even prominent under the leather jacket he was wearing. He was so strong Baekhyun noticed once again, hoping no one would see him being so drawn to what Chanyeol was doing.  
It was then his turn to climb the latter and, granted, it probably did not look as effortless as Chanyeol doing it, but he remained graceful, watching out to not dirty his beige outfit. At the top, Chanyeol was holding out his hand politely and Baekhyun found himself actually taking it.

Something Chanyeol was very surprised by, Baekhyun was a very hesitant personality and very shy. He did come across some of Baekhyun’s more daring commercials and campaigns a couple of times, it was impossible to miss his face on billboards or store windows. He would never thought of Baekhyun as such a shy being.

But once they started to go to work, Chanyeol realized that the Baekhyun that he knew was changing once the photographer was raising his camera. It was fascinating, the rapper thought.

They had put up their set at the rooftop. It was simple yet fitting the urban style of their clothing. A very expensive couch was the center of the frame, giving it an interesting twist to the raw and industrial environment. It seemed low-key and high quality at the same time, quite fitting the brand they were endorsing.   
They both sat down at the couch, Chanyeol watching in awe how Baekhyun’s whole aura changed. Suddenly he wasn’t the young and scared boy anymore, but a very confident work of art instead. Head held high and posture to die for, he could only imitate what he was doing. Chanyeol knew his way around photoshoots, was no stranger to how to pose right and what made him look extra good, but next to Baekhyun he seemed like a complete rookie.   
They did a couple of shots like this, the smaller leaning his elbow against the armrest, hand proper under his chin and looking into the camera with a mix of apathy and a sultry gaze. It looked so effortless.  
For Chanyeol, it took a bit longer to get into sync with the shoot, but would soon find himself in a comfortable position. They worked well together, Baekhyun’s shyness and even reluctant behavior gone, even as they subtly touched each other via the photographer’s directions. Simple fingertips over their skin. Baekhyun barely noticed them, he had developed a certain state of mind in which he just did his job, being a professional model and that included not being scared of intimacy. It was a totally different state of mind than what is actual persona was, but he found this to be the best way. The real Baekhyun would just be a nuisance. It would only make things unnecessary difficult.

At one point the photographer changed the angle again and requested for one of them to actually leave the sofa to take a seat onto the concrete. The suggestion obviously fell onto Baekhyun, who acted immediately, standing up and took his place on the ground, right in front of Chanyeol. It felt a bit odd for some reason, how it seemed so clear to everyone that it had to be Baekhyun, it felt unnecessarily indecent for some reason. The rapper had to adjust his own pose, while Baekhyun was already set and ready for the next couple of shots. He seemed so accepting. Chanyeol could not help but feel irked. Yet he was still so impressed of the small boy. It seemed like, everyday, he learned a new thing about him. Learned how much he underestimated him. 

Baekhyun was oblivious to Chanyeol’s thoughts, too engrossed in his work to notice. After all, it was what he knew best. Looking pretty.

Usually, the boy did not care for how the pictures turned out. At this point there were rarely flaws in how he portrayed himself, or at least who Byun Baekhyun was supposed to be. He knew he would have to look at them for reviewing purposes, but after that he liked to just erase them all from his memory, avoid them at all costs. He did not need to see the shallowness he had become.  
But for some reason he found himself curious about how these particularly pictures had turned out. 

Although it was no for himself, but for no other than Park Chanyeol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have another one or two chapters after that and then updates will be a bit slower, forgive me for that. but i want to try to keep this up to date with my tweetfic. thank you for reading! :) let me know what you think!


	7. and now they closin' in on me

The days after the photoshoot were kind of bearable. They were still packed, but Baekhyun found himself working with a shift in his mindset towards his work. He thought about Chanyeol’s words a lot. Was he really who he made him out to be? Baekhyun was familiar with the feeling of nervousness and the sheer anxiety he felt whenever he had to work with someone else, he found it hard to be around others. He had done countless of shoots involving other models or even some brand endorsers from other fields. He had done them even in some more suggestive poses, he knew who of those people were nice and who of those were rude. Who of those would take advantage. He rarely enjoyed other people’s presence. He felt out of place, like he did not belong there with all those famous people. He was just a boy trying to make some bucks, right? Someone pulled off from the streets, he was not like them. So, to think about it from another perspective was something new. He was a personality among them, he was not an outsider, right? It actually might be the opposite, they were the ones fighting for an opportunity to work with him. Baekhyun was not familiar with the actual demand his company got for him, was completely shielded from it. All the boy did was work without questioning anything. It had always been like that. Never ever had it been an option for him to be involved. He did not get requests, he did get orders from the higher ups. There were no suggestions, only set jobs. He was no part of the negotiation process before, at most he was present to show his pretty face, but that was it. 

However, he did not know what to do with this newly achieved knowledge. Baekhyun was at a point in his life and his career, where there was no turning back anymore. He could not simply start a conversation on this, his company would probably laugh at him. He was too deep into this, too accustomed to how he was treated. 

All those thoughts went down the drain anyways when the day came with the announcement of Chanyeol’s new brand collaboration. His company monitored the reactions on the internet closely, they had to. Baekhyun usually stayed away as much as possible from those kind of reactions, he didn’t read what was written about him on the internet. He had his name and company name banned on all his devices. It would not always filter out bad words, but it would help as much as it could. He did however happen to be present in a meeting with his manager and some executives while the news dropped and comments flooded in on the multiple portals and articles written about it. Before he could even react, someone shoved a tablet into his hands with some comments. 

[I expected more from Loey tbh, wasn’t he always against those things?]

[Isnt that bun model an ambassador for them too? I hope that leech is staying away from our pcy]

[Working with a brand involving that model is such a low blow… Loey is such a hypocrite]

[Okay but imagine them shooting together? It would be so cute!]

[Does Loey really want to be involved with a slut like that Baekhyun?]

[Dont worry guys sweet Chanyeol is save, I heard that model only goes for the rich old dudes lol]

Baekhyun couldn’t bear more than a few comments. He faintly heard the people around them talking about how the general public took the announcement very well. Most articles were very positive and only a small fraction of the comments were bad, but all Baekhyun could see the people slandering him and Chanyeol in the comments.   
He swallowed harshly and stood up, leaving the tablet and the staff around him behind to stumble into the restroom next to the meeting room. He felt his breath shortening and heat entering his body. Hands coming down to the sink to support himself, he saw his hands shaking. When he looked up into the mirror, all he saw was someone despicable. That’s what he was, right? Despicable. Fans did not want their favorites to be associated with him. What was it about him, that made people hate him? Baekhyun felt so lost, so alone.   
This was only the beginning, this announcement was just about Chanyeol’s involvement in this brand. A couple of days from today, their photoshoot would be released, revealing how they would work together more closely. If some people react this way just by the faint association with him, what would happen if they would see them together?

Baekhyun whined slightly and one of his shaky hands made his way to his backpocket. He had a hard time maneuvering his movements, but eventually the powder found its way on the sink and he eagerly dived his nose into it, yearning for the thick layer it would put over his gloomy thoughts. Tears would cloud his eyes, but only for a bit, until his eyes would change and his breathing would finally go back to normal.  
The letters in his memory got foggy. The sentences of hate he had read just minutes ago blurred in his head. At least for a few hours he would forget. 

He almost didn’t hear the door opening, when he turned his head he was greeted with the sight of his manager, in search for him.   
„Come on, you have a dinner to attend tonight. The stylist is waiting.“ Baekhyun would nod, sloppily cleaning his nose with the back of his hand.   
„I’ll come in a minute.“ He said, he got another nod and the door closed again. His mind was not clear enough to ponder over indifference in his manager’s eyes. He probably wouldn’t care if Baekhyun would take too much on day. Would probably only worry about his profit.  
Was this how it would end one day? Not by the expiration of his contract, but rather his life? 

Baekhyun did well, like always. He smiled and giggled, pretended to listen to what the man in front of him said. He would allow the man to take his hand over the table, the touch felt numb, the model had long distanced himself from what was happening. He faintly remembered how he excused himself to the restroom, in need of another line of cocaine. His guest offered him wine, something he knew was not a good combination with drugs but he simply did not care, the more destructive, the better. The man in front of him was only a blurry image by now but Baekhyun didn’t care either. All of these men were the same for him, all of them were equally disgusting. Sometimes he wondered if they realized that Baekhyun did not do this because it was so much fun, wondered if they were just oblivious to this or if they simply didn’t care. He knew it was a vicious cycle, his reputation of him involving with older men only brought these creatures forward, rich and powerful men that thought they could have him for a night. But he didn’t, yet he was part of this cycle, the more people met, the more often sneaky pictures could be leaked. Never enough to identify those men, but enough to shed a light on Baekhyun. Enough to fuel the cycle. Baekhyun looked up and nodded with a sweet smile when the man asked him if they should leave, hands trembling under the table but he could not do anything else.

Officially, if there was anything official about hidden dinners like this, his company didn’t know what followed after the actual dinner. Technically, this was just a simple and discrete escort job, but a simple two hours of talking to the model was not what all of them were here for. And everyone around him knew that. They knew that this was not about some food and talks over candlelight. It was about Baekhyun fulfilling fantasies. Who doesn’t want a pretty and well on demand boy at his disposal for a night? If money was everything that it took to get it, then the upper class had no problems with bending the rules.   
Baekhyun had learned that fairly early. So he had enough time to learn to completely shut off his mind, just moving on autopilot as these nights were nearing its high.

The small boy already felt nothing when they left the restaurant.   
Baekhyun was aware this night would leave no scar on his body, the rules for the men were strict when it came to his body, but Baekhyun already felt how another deep cut was carved into his soul. 

He knew something was screaming inside of him, but by now it had become dull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a sad, small chapter


	8. nobody left but us

Baekhyun dreaded the following days more than usual. Anxiety was building up in his chest, threatening to swallow him whole. He tried his best, tried to sleep at every chance given, tried to give himself some rest, tried avoiding cocaine. It barely worked, though. Listening to Loey’s songs and wearing Chanyeol’s clothes were the only things that could sooth him at least a little. The scent had already left the fabric and he probably should give them back soon, but he just couldn’t separate himself from them. He was not strong enough yet to reach out to Chanyeol, but he found himself thinking about it in rare moments. It was something he thought to be quite scandalous, he had never thought about something like this, but then again, there had never been anybody. In his early years there might be some faces he remembered, thinking they were friends but they weren’t. Baekhyun never had a single friend in his life, how was he supposed to know if anyone had good intentions? Because so far no one had been kind to him because they liked him.  
But maybe… maybe he really wanted Chanyeol to be someone he could trust. 

The day of their photoshoot reveal came faster than he had wished for. The day had been hard, he had a solo photoshoot for that brand as well as several fittings for a gala he would attend and he was very exhausted after he had finished his schedules. Baekhyun was envious of his managers, since they were two, they would split his schedule in half, while he had to be present all the time. Baekhyun wished there was another one to replace him like this, too. Honestly, that person could have all of his schedules and fame. But no one deserved a life like this. Not even those evil, greedy people that lusted after what he had.

He just wanted to go home, shower and sleep, but his plans were destroyed once he got a stylish blouse shoved into his arm and told to dress for a dinner. Baekhyun had almost started crying at the spot, his heart beating loudly at the thought of it being one of those dinners. But instead he got shoved into a car together with his manager and some other executives of the company and driven to a fancy restaurant. He briefly got told about this was a last minute meet up with both Chanyeol’s management so they could celebrate their official announcement before it was published. Baekhyun just nodded, he was no stranger of those happening, it was meant to further the bond between the involved parties. Would Chanyeol be there? Probably, right? He could not miss this, especially not if they were the ones to request it this spontaneously.  
And he was right, when they arrived at the BBQ place they had already taken a seat. Chanyeol spotted them first, his eyes immediately lighting up upon seeing Baekhyun. He waved at them. For some reason, he was not sure if Baekhyun would have been present, he was not that good at predicting when it came to the model.  
However, he did see a little smile on Baekhyun’s lips as they approached. His eyes seemed heavy and Chanyeol did feel a bit bad for the invitation, but the model showed no sign of anger or annoyance because of it. He was polite, greeting them with a very respectful bow, he was the youngest among them after all. He took his seat right next to Chanyeol, since it was the only one available after all the other one had took theirs. The rapper smiled at him and Baekhyun blushed, averting his eyes, sudden nervousness coming up. He was fearful, maybe Chanyeol’s warm greeting was just a facade? He must have seen the comments, too, right? The ones where they were slandering him because of Baekhyun. Was he not affected by them? Baekhyun could not stop thinking about them, about those harsh words. No matter how many positive reactions there were, he could only see the defaming and evil ones. The ones that rendered Baekhyun as a whore, as someone that people like Chanyeol should not associate with.

„We already went ahead and started grilling. Come on, drink with us!“ One of Chanyeol’s assistant said, all of them agreeing. The rapper lifted the soju bottle ready to take Baekhyun’s glass.  
„I-… uhm… you..“ Baekhyun tried, having the rapper look at him in worry. He had have some cocaine today and didn’t feel like mixing it with other drugs right now. Chanyeol crooked his head but seemed to understand, well at least he understood that Baekhyun did not want to drink. Baekhyun was surprised when Chanyeol moved the bottle to his glass nevertheless, but without filling the tinted glass. Not like anyone was paying attention to that anyways.

Baekhyun would raise his glass with them, but it was empty. They would repeat this during the night. And Baekhyun was thankful. It was mostly them for the evening. Baekhyun was known to be quiet anyway and he didn’t feel like contributing to the conversation anyway. They talked briefly about their upcoming schedules and superficial exchanges of how happy they were to work with each other.  
He did not listen much although his attention skyrocketed whenever Chanyeol talked. His deep voice was soothing, his scent so calming, he almost forgot about the upcoming announcement, even if it was constantly brought up throughout the evening. For some reason, all he could focus on was Chanyeol. They would find themselves in their own conversations a few times over the course of the dinner. It was mostly Chanyeol asking him questions with Baekhyun answering them in short, nervous sentences and Chanyeol telling him about his day. He had been hauled up in the studio all day, working on some new songs for his upcoming releases.  
„I’ve been very inspired lately.“ He said with a smile, looking down at the small boy next to him.  
„That is great… it must feel good to be connected with your music….“ Chanyeol nodded.  
„It is. I need to invite you into my studio one day. I think one of the shoots revolves around my music, let’s do it then?“ Baekhyun’s eyes grew wide, was that an invitation? Loey, /the/ rapper Loey was inviting him to his studio? He had always dreamed about visiting one one day. He had given up thinking about it so long ago, but now his interest was coming to the surface again.  
„Y-yes… maybe we can do that.“ He answered, pushing a piece of salad into his mouth to busy himself, conceal the nervousness. Chanyeol would find that behavior to be adorable. Baekhyun was so much prettier when he acted his real age. When he was not all dolled up and maneuvered around.  
He did noticed how Baekhyun hadn’t eaten much over the dinner, despite them having plenty of everything. However, Chanyeol did not comment one it, too afraid Baekhyun would feel called out or get scared. This was something he had no right talking about. He would not judge Baekhyun. Yet he would ask him to try certain things, within his boundaries and as reassuring as he could. Baekhyun appreciated it, he would decline, but also give in. How could he not if those beautiful eyes would look at him? This kind smile. 

Time went over way too fast and soon Baekhyun was dragged back into reality. A reality where he would sit alone in his apartment, not able to sleep because of the words and comments he would have to face in a matter of hours. It hurt, deeply. He did not want to be alone. Not today. Not this evening. Not this night. Baekhyun felt like panicking when they left the restaurant, the group still chatting. He looked at Chanyeol, he seemed calm. He probably was tired, too, right? He must have exhausted himself in the studio, it would fit to him and his passion.  
The blood was rushing into his ears as time was running, the small group stayed in front of the restaurant for a bit, chatting while a few of them took a smoke. Chanyeol talked to his manager, and Baekhyun felt like he was going to become nauseous. It was hard to breath and suddenly he was so scared. He did not want to be alone. He just didn’t want that. 

And suddenly it felt like the moment back at the balcony, the moment were Baekhyun was so close to just jumping from that building if Chanyeol was refusing him. He felt desperate. He just wanted… comfort.  
Baekhyun felt sudden panic. A sudden need. And that need could neither be satiated with sleep nor cocaine. Not even those washed out clothes that had lost its scent. There was only one thing.

So in a moment of what seemed to be courage, a rare moment of his mind both so clouded and clear, he moved his hand. The model’s fingers were small and thin next to Chanyeol’s, he noticed. He softly tugged at Chanyeol’s coat. Like a child, like a toddler, but he did not trust himself to just speak up loud enough.  
It was just a small gesture, barely noticeable and for a moment he feared he was too weak yet again. But Chanyeol noticed, of course he did. The model’s eyes made a quick round over the people around them. Yes, Chanyeol was the only one that ever noticed. The tall man turned, eyes immediately casted onto the small boy.  
„Yes,  
Baekhyun?“ He asked, voice so deep yet so soft at the same time and for the split of a second he thought there was /something/. A glimpse in his eyes. He brushed the thought of. His brows furrowed in worry as he watched Baekhyun, his face so pale and clearly distressed. 

„Baekhyun, is everything alright?“ He asked again, now moving to shield the small body from the rest of the group. Giving them some privacy. What was it? Had Chanyeol done something wrong? 

„Chanyeol…. could you stay with me?“ Chanyeol’s heart sank at the scared tone. There was a brief moment of confusion in his eyes, he was definitely not used to the small boy in front of him reaching out himself. That was completely new, but it was welcomed. Yet he could not completely conceal the surprise on his face. The look worried Baekhyun. He was ready to withdraw his request and just cry himself to sleep as soon as he got home, but Chanyeol was faster.  
„Of course, Baekhyun. I’ll stay as long as you want me to.“ He said, voice so reassuring it made the model actually calm down a bit. Chanyeol would give him a smile and it blinded Baekhyun.  
Chanyeol seemed genuinely happy. Was this maybe special for him, too? Was he nervous, too? Baekhyun wondered, completely oblivious to how positively surprised Chanyeol was. Was this Baekhyun reaching out to him? Wanting him to help? Be there for him? Suddenly he felt so proud of Baekhyun. So happy. 

So he quickly turned turned again to face the small group.  
„It was a nice evening, I am so happy we could all come together so spontaneously. Thank you so much for your time and your hard work today!“ He said in a cheerful voice, getting cheerful words in return.  
„Baekhyun and me will be going now, we’ll see each other on our next schedule! Have good night.“ Chanyeol ignored the curious faces at his last words and instead bowed respectfully. Baekhyun followed, even more confused. That was… very smooth, he thought. He looked at his managers warily, they seemed surprised, but did not signal him that he had done something wrong. They were always more lenient when it came to Chanyeol. They wanted Baekhyun to stay on his good side. But still, it was a bit uncomfortable, yet there was probably no way around it. 

So he ignored the looks of his staff, those knowing eyes. Baekhyun did not want to imagine what they would now think of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am still here, I am just in a bit of a writer's block


	9. i show out, do you like what you see?

He did not really like to be touched, but the cautious hand on his back leading them away was welcomed, for the small boy probably could not move on his own accord. Chanyeol was gently leading him towards his car and even open the door for him. It was the same Benz that he had driven the last time. It was big and didn’t exactly look like something you would drive in the city, it fit Chanyeol well. So he climbed in and buckled himself up, the rapper doing the same and starting the car.

„Do you want me to drive to your place or mine? It doesn’t matter which, they’re both at the same distance.“ Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun appreciated him so much for asking.   
„Is your place okay?“ He asked warily, he did not want to annoy Chanyeol, he had already asked for a lot. Chanyeol would just smile.   
„Of course, no problem.“

Baekhyun had a hard time fathoming how Chanyeol could be so easy going, always giving in to what he wanted. He would always just go along with it no matter what it was. He had agreed to take him home that day, after their first real talk and where he was clearly distressed. He seemed to have no problem in being patient with him, that definitely was a first.   
They entered through the private garage again, with Chanyeol handing him a facemask that he always kept in the car. They walked quickly, Baekhyun trying to keep up with the large strides of the rapper. The both sighed in relief when they entered Chanyeol’s apartment. Baekhyun would blush while Chanyeol would be amused, chuckling.   
They removed their shoes and then Chanyeol led him to his living room, offering him to take a seat at the couch. 

„Do you want anything to drink?“ Baekhyun shyly nodded as he sat down, looking a bit around. Last time he was here, he had not really taken his time to look around, his mind had been way too messy back then. His apartment seemed very well furnished and thought about. It was spacious but not too eccentric. Baekhyun had seen a lot of lavish apartments in the past years, all of them made to impress. This one seemed so laid back, almost a bit too simple. Although there was a hint of messiness on Chanyeol’s side, that made it clear someone lived there. Both the living room and the kitchen were an open space, although separated through a dining table. What got his attention were the guitars around the room that were displayed. All different kinds of models, Baekhyun wondered if they were all played by him. The urge of listening to it was building up within him. So Baekhyun could watch Chanyeol fetch two glasses and a bottle of water. He smiled at him when he came back and Baekhyun thought it to be so bright. Even with how late it was, he still looked so cheerful.   
„I hope water is okay, I don’t like fizzy stuff in the evening.“ Baekhyun nodded.   
„It’s fine, me too. Thank you.“ He said, shuffling a bit to the side when Chanyeol took a seat beside him, making sure there was enough space. 

Baekhyun feared for the whole the situation to be kind of awkward since he was not the most talkative person but as he sipped on his water, he found it surprisingly comfortable just being quiet. He knew of Chanyeol’s calming presence by now, but he did not expect for it to be this soothing for his mind. The model found himself longing for this to be a regular occurrence. He wished it was possible.   
They stayed silent like this for a couple of minutes, maybe for half an hour even, Baekhyun watching the water in the glass he held. He felt exhausted, but he knew he could not sleep yet. A constant state in his life. His eyes wandered to Chanyeol, who just leaned back comfortably, staring at the big TV in front of them, it was blank.

„Are you nervous?“ Baekhyun finally asked and Chanyeol turned his head in surprise, making the smaller blush. It probably came as a surprise that he had spoken out of nowhere.   
„About what?“ He asked, slowly turning his head back to the black screen.   
„About… the news tomorrow?“ Baekhyun said, now putting the glass on the coffee table and fiddling with his shirt. Chanyeol just smiled and looked at the ceiling. „Why would I?“ He asked. And it confused Baekhyun greatly. How could Chanyeol not be feeling nervous? Wasn’t that normal? But then again it was Chanyeol, Loey. The man that has such a different life than Baekhyun. 

„About what people will say? You working with someone like me?“ He clarified, making Chanyeol just chuckle. It was not a light chuckle though.   
„I already made my decision when I agreed to the deal. Why would I care, Baekhyun? Nothing can change my mind back.“ He said.   
„I figure there will be some backlash, there always is. But I chose this path myself, so what other people say about you or me doesn’t matter to me.“ Right, Baekhyun thought, Chanyeol had the ability to chose. Baekhyun could only hope whatever he had to do would not result in hate. The smaller lowered his head and gnawed on his lip, making Chanyeol crook his head. Understanding what his thoughts on this probably were. „I understand that I have the luxury of being my own boss and that I don’t depend on the opinions of other people and I cherish it a lot. Which his why I can do what I want.“ He said and hesitated for a bit as he watched Baekhyun sitting on his couch.

„Also.“ Chanyeol added, this time his voice was a bit more stern.   
„Don’t describe yourself as /someone like me/, Baekhyun. You are not a monster. The people around you are.“ The pain in Baekhyun’s eyes was something that stung in Chanyeol’s heart. He did not deserve all this hate, all those toxic people around him.

He could not imagine the anxiety he must go through right now. Baekhyun was one of those people that had always people on his back trying to tear him down. With the large following he had, there came a lot of hate, too. It pained him that the public made him out to be this person he wasn’t. It pained him hat even Chanyeol himself thought of Baekhyun to be a horrible human when the truth was far from that. He was just a little boy that no one really knew.   
„You know.“ He started.   
„Being able to make a choice that makes you happy and has you not worrying about things like this is not something rare, I am not an exception.“ Chanyeol continued, turning more towards Baekhyun, who nodded, knowing where this was headed.   
„I know… l-let’s see… where the next weeks bring us and… maybe…“ Baekhyun stuttered, trying to overcome the fear that came with all those words the rapper would say. He knew exactly what he wanted him to do, but it was hard. Yet the reassurance was a kind of comfort he had never gotten, Baekhyun was finally ready to show willingness.  
And it made Chanyeol smile, genuine. This was the first time Baekhyun had told him something close to wanting to go that route with him. He would provide the path and guide him as patiently as he could.

„I am glad. Don’t forget, that I will always be here okay?“ Baekhyun nodded again, a small smile on his lips.  
The small boy could not describe all these new things Chanyeol made him feel. For the first time in his whole life he felt like he had a choice.  
„Now, is there anything you want to do to kill some time? I assume you can’t sleep yet?“ Chanyeol asked and Baekhyun thought, fiddling with his hands a bit and averting his eyes shyly. It was then that the guitars shoved itself into his vision again. An acoustic guitar to be precise. Baekhyun indeed got curious.   
„Those… guitars…“ He mumbled, almost a bit too quiet but Chanyeol understood him pretty well and he smiled, following Baekhyun’s eyes towards the wooden instrument.   
„Can you play?“ He asked as he stood up to gather it from its stand. Baekhyun shook his head.   
„Can I… listen?“ He asked and Chanyeol was met with some childlike curiosity that he found he really liked. Midst Baekhyun being made to resemble an adult and this dull, anxious person, he liked seeing this innocent behavior. „Sure.“ He said, easily grabbing the large item and coming back to the couch. He immediately started strumming it.   
„I haven’t been able to play much because I was so busy, so I may be a bit rusty.“ He chuckled, voice so deep as he started to hum along with the sounds he created. Baekhyun was already glued to the sight, he loved the low timbre of Chanyeol’s voice.

Baekhyun didn’t even notice how he slowly came closer, leaning in more and more until his cheek was pressed against Chanyeol’s shoulder. It just felt all too familiar, the smell he was so used to to fall asleep now. Only that this time it was stronger, not just the faint scent on Chanyeol’s clothes, but rather the man himself. It was calming. The rapper noticed, the model didn’t, yet he didn’t comment on it. Baekhyun smelled so good, Chanyeol might have missed a beat or two a couple of times when looking at the tiny figure next to him. He looked so cute, cheek squished against his shoulder, eyes so big and concentrated. Yet he noticed the fatigue that would slowly envelope the small boy and it made him happy. Baekhyun deserved to rest. So he continued to play, softly humming and swaying from side to side just a tiny bit and Baekhyun felt like he was leaning on clouds. It felt like he was lulled to sleep with such tenderness he had never experienced. So it was actually not surprising that Baekhyun was soon snuggling against his chest, fast asleep and hands gripping Chanyeol’s shirt, rendering the rapper unable to continue playing. But he was not complaining at all. The peace in Baekhyun’s face would excuse everything.

Chanyeol took a while longer, but they both ended up falling asleep like this, neither of them ending up checking for the release of the pictures or the reactions posted online. Chanyeol’s warmth was enough for Baekhyun to chase the /what if/ away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> click this link for a little surprise: https://twitter.com/mrsfanfantastic/status/1258893444069625857?s=20


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i am still working on this do not worry!

In the end, it turned out to be alright. Of course it would, yet the rapper understood Baekhyun’s anxiety. There were a lot of things about stardom that were far from easy.   
The first time Chanyeol had looked up how their endorsement was received, even he had been a bit anxious, courtesy of Baekhyun’s sorrows getting to him. But not by much, he was confident about his fanbase and picture to the public. Chanyeol was very aware that there would be negative feedback, too, there always was. But he was a reasonable person, the media took the news well and praised the collaboration, for it both of the ambassadors were aces in their fields. The notion pleased the rapper greatly. He had even checked the stocks and the brand, as well as Chanyeol’s and Baekhyun’s agency both were raising in worth fairly quickly. The brand popularity and sales already boosted only by the announcement and a few preview pictures.

To be quite honest, Chanyeol was amazed by how well Baekhyun could sell products. It was a known fact, but to see it was a whole other thing. His fanbase was large, dedicated to making every endorsement blow up, only furthering more and more brands and companies reaching out to him. Chanyeol knew the drill as well, but he was a musician first and foremost while selling products was Baekhyun’s job. And selling them he did.  
Also considering his reputation among the general public, which could sometimes be seen as a bit suspicious. With the promiscuous rumors that would often surround the model, he was celebrity that people loved to hate. His fanbase was enorm all over the globe, yet no one could deny the controversy around him on many occasions.

It saddened Chanyeol the more he would spend time with Baekhyun, for none of these rumors seemed to be true. The model was a very kind person. A thing that regularly drove Chanyeol mad was the fact that everyone seemed to forget how young Baekhyun actually was. How long those rumours were already a thing, even before he was legal. 

There were still questions that the rapper had with many things Baekhyun did, but he knew it was not his place. So far, he enjoyed how the model would slowly, very slowly, approach him. There were a lot of projects going on surrounding their cooperation, so they saw each other fairly often to shoot. They were nothing more than acquaintances by now, maybe friends, but Baekhyun seemed to like being close to him. He would seem so much calmer and rested when he was with him. Chanyeol tried to make sure that the small model would not move away from his side, for he had noticed that Baekhyun’s staff was a lot nicer around him when the rapper was present.   
He did have the perception that they handled the boy fairly rough, their tone towards him visibly harsher whenever they thought no one would listen.   
Baekhyun’s demeanour would change, too, he would be a lot quieter. His whole posture seemingly more meek, as if he was a little child that was scolded for misbehaving. It made Chanyeol sad to see him like this, he was small and shy enough already, having to see people talking down on him only made it all the more upsetting.

So Chanyeol made sure to stay close to him, his large frame next to the lite model seemingly working as an effective shield, scaring away any kind of rude behavior that was directed towards the younger.   
He was not sure if Baekhyun had picked up on those things, he did seem fairly obvious still, yet he naturally would stick to him, too. Almost as if Chanyeol’s shadow was the perfect place to be.   
Holding Chanyeol’s hand has become a sanctuary for Baekhyun. One that he did not even realize himself, but Chanyeol liked to not call attention to it, worried it would have the model shy away again. No one else was saying anything or making a remark, which was reliving, for he wanted Baekhyun to process things on his own. Chanyeol’s big frame and stoic face seemed to help greatly, for no one ever even so much as looked strangely at them when Baekhyun’s little, delicate digits searched for Chanyeol’s when they were reviewing pictures with the photographers and stylists they had taken.

The collaboration seemingly had some sort of storyline pervading through all the endorsements, shoots and videos. Almost like they were portrayed as lovers, but not quite. It seemed fitting given how close they had grown without being close at the same time.   
Chanyeol did not spend any thoughts on his heart and feelings that seemed to bubble up within his chest whenever thinking of the model, for it did not seem a priority to him. 

Everytime he would start thinking about how good Baekhyun would look on his side permanently, he was pulled out of it in small but meaningful moments. Baekhyun arriving to a photoshoot with visible exhaustion drawn onto his face, the makeup artist brushing away the cocaine stains from his face. Glistening eyes that tried so hard whenever the boy had been at the receiving end of cruel words. 

There were good days, where Baekhyun would genuinely smile at him and ask about his day, even indulging in little, meaningful smalltalk. But then there also were the bad days, days where Baekhyun seemed like he wanted to give up, where he would fall asleep against his chest during pictures because he was just so tired.

Chanyeol really wanted to invite Baekhyun again to spend more time with him, but he feared for him to be too invasive, too demanding. 

So he always tried his best, greeting Baekhyun with his favorite coffee, adding extra milk and sugar to it. Made sure Baekhyun always had a robe or a blanket to cover himself when they picked an outfit too revealing, something that everyone seemed to like to do with the model. There were many times Chanyeol had to remind himself that he was still only 19. Baekhyun seemed fine with everything they gave him, but he would always thank him for the cover up, especially when Chanyeol just gave him his jacket when nothing else was provided for him, a thought that had the rapper’s blood boil quite often. He liked seeing Baekhyun comfortable. 

The closest to comfortable on his own, was when Baekhyun dressed in comfortable clothes at the end of a long day full of photoshoots. They both had been quite busy with their schedules together since there were a lot of ads coming up soon and there would be a fashion event to be attended by both of them in the near future. It was very exciting for Chanyeol, for it was his very first endorsement in this field of that magnitude. There was a lot to be learned and especially a lot to be learned from Baekhyun. 

He was so unsuspecting, Chanyeol thought as he pocketed his keys and phone after today’s work together, ready to bid everyone their goodbye and then leave for the night, it was already after midnight and he wanted to use the rest of the week in his studio. However, when Baekhyun came into his view, just about to do the same as he was ready to leave the set, Chanyeol couldn’t help but look at him. 

How someone could be this naturally beautiful was a mystery to him. Clad of all make up, his hair messily combed for the products to properly be removed later, he looked like a little angel. His clothes baggy and more for comfort than for vanity, an indicator that this was his last schedule for the day, Chanyeol had picked up on this already. Baekhyun loved to just wear comfortable clothes that hid his body, yet that was not what other people liked on him, so he could only do it when everything that was left to do was going into the car and straight into his apartment. The rapper remembered the clothes he had lend him once, the small model had once talked about giving them back to him, but Chanyeol had declined, pleased by the pink hue on the smaller’s cheek as he told him it didn’t matter. He wondered, did Baekhyun wear those, too? He would really like that.

It was obvious that all Baekhyun wanted to do was go home, but instead he had to wait for his manager and some stylists to discuss things that seemingly went over the model’s head, because his eyes were heavy. There words spoken to him, but he only faintly acknowledged them, for he had no strength left to do so. Chanyeol sighed to himself, bidding his assistant and staff his goodbye with a silent move of his hand as they went to leave and he took a last glance at the small boy in the dressing room. 

Once he realized no one was talking to him anymore and his manager seemed to be on the phone, Chanyeol’s legs moved on its own.   
The smaller did not see him approaching at first, only when his large frame shoved itself into his tired, blurred vision, did he notice him. By now, Baekhyun always had a little smile for him, so much the rapper had learned already. No matter how small and how tired, there would always be a lips curled into a faint, happy line. It was his silent way of acknowledging him, for more often than not, he was too shy for anything else. Chanyeol did not mind, no one else got that smile, so he felt special. 

“Heading home?” He asked, his own voice already hoarse from the day, too. Chanyeol couldn’t wait to go to bed soon. Baekhyun nodded.   
“Yes, can’t wait to sleep soon.” He said, followed by a yawn that was so adorable, the rapper had to restrain himself to not just squeeze Baekhyun’s pretty cheeks. Fuck, why was he so beautiful?   
Chanyeol chucked as a response instead.   
“I can imagine.”

It was unplanned, but for some reason Chanyeol felt like it.   
“Anyways, how about we hang out together tomorrow evening? I know it is spontaneous but I thought it would be nice to get a bit closer.” The rapper suggested, strangely nervous all of the sudden. It should not be a big deal, right? Chanyeol would often hang out with people he worked with because he valued good relationships with his coworkers. This did seem like a bit more, though. 

He knew Baekhyun was tired, but he seemed on high alert at the question, sweater paws fiddling with each other as his lips pursed into a little pout while he thought. Chanyeol was almost optimistic, but then Baekhyun’s eyes widened for the split of a second before he dropped his arms, now lifelessly dangling next to his thin body. 

“I… I would like to but I….ha-have an important schedule tomorrow.”, he said, lips thin as he pressed them together after every word, as if they were hard to speak. Maybe it was disappointment?  
Chanyeol did not see the look Baekhyun’s manager gave him as he listened to their conversation, incidentally, phone still pressed against his ear. 

The taller nodded, a bit sad but without putting too much thought into it. After all, they were both very busy people and his proposal had come very spontaneously. To be frank, he didn’t even know why he asked himself, it was as if he moved on autopilot. “No big deal.” Chanyeol replied, feeling the need to reassure Baekhyun for he did not want to stress him out.   
“I know it was probably very fruitless given how spontan it was, maybe we can figure something out somewhere after that.” He offered and it had Baekhyun nod, a bit more collected and it did seem like something that he would really like to do.   
For some reason, that made Chanyeol very happy and he left with a warm feeling in his chest.


	11. Chapter 11

The music was too loud, the lights too dim, the place too crowded. Baekhyun did not like clubs, had never done so. The model had always been sad that the media had never shunned him openly for frequenting them, leading the people around him to not push him to go. How the general public had been okay with him being seen in clubs and events as a minor had always been a mystery to him. They had even encouraged it, labeling him as some kind of party animal, everyone always gawking at his lascive outfits. But Baekhyun had been way too young, it had only ruined more things inside of him. 

But what choice did he have? A lot of his clients loved the feeling of being seen with him, thus why there was always this weird play of discrete display whenever it came to the model. Just sit him into the VIP section of every high end club in Seoul, next to an influential person that did not mind the public eye. 

He had never liked it, always needed distractions. Alcohol and drugs were always the hardest at the beginning of an evening, when the young adult worried about the effects and the way he would lose control, but all of that had to be shoved away quickly whenever a drink was pushed his way and Baekhyun had learned that after a couple of minutes those worries did not matter anymore. The world was still horrible, but it would begin to tint at the edges and slowly, things would become more bearable. He would find himself laughing and giggling, the sound so foreign in his ears, as he indulged himself into the nightlife. The touches of his clients and the people around him numbed down until they barely bothered him anymore. Baekhyun could see why the media put him in the light they did. From the outside, he would think he was a whore, too. 

Every now and then throughout the whole evening, Baekhyun wondered how his day would have been if he had wondered how this day would have ended if he didn’t have to be here, entertaining yet another man. Even intoxicated, he felt bad. 

Baekhyun had been distressed about it for the whole day. It made him sad, because if it wasn’t for him having to be another soulless plaything, he could have spent it with Chanyeol. He could sit in his apartment, listen to him playing the guitar and maybe…. maybe even lean against his shoulder again and hold his hand. Maybe Chanyeol would make him breakfast again, Chanyeol was the only person that actually encouraged him to eat, something that was so strange after a decade of being scolded for even thinking about having a meal.

Chanyeol was too good for him, he thought. It probably was pity, why else would one be nice to a fuck-up like him? He would always make him feel like a human, but once he was alone again, or alone amidst all these people, he felt like nothing more than a tool again. Baekhyun quickly downed the rest of his drink, for the thoughts inside his head would become too clear and it was not something he was comfortable with. So he traded those notions for the all too familiar drugs. 

A hand around his shoulders emerged quickly, pulling him closer and Baekhyun hoped it was Chanyeol, but of course it was in vain, for it was whatever man he had to _date_ today. 

“Hey babe, how about another drink?” It was not a question, Baekhyun would immediately find a longdrink pushed against his lips and he obediently took it, the burning sensation pleasant by now, while eyeing the man next to him. At least he was not as old as some of the others, it felt a lot more dirty when they doubled or even tripled his age. Yet it was nothing he could label as pleasant or even tolerable. They all looked at him the same, practically eating him up as they enjoyed the sight Baekhyun would give them.  
The tight pants, the cropped tops, the sheer blouses, the smokey eyes. Dressed like a good, little doll. The model found himself indulging into more and more alcohol quickly and welcomed the white powder he was offered all too easily. The tint in his vision would soon turn into a thick fog and it was exactly what Baekhyun wanted. 

Chanyeol had been working a tad bit too much lately, he only now noticed. Drink in his hand, music invading his ears. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had been indulging into the nightlife. It must have been months already. Even if he was still a bit sad that he could not spend his desired time with Baekhyun like he had hoped he would this evening, he was glad that he was not alone. Sehun had hit him up for a night out, they haven’t gone out in a while. Yifan and his actor boyfriend, Junmyeon, were there too and in the end he was glad for the distraction.

“Dude, I haven’t seen you in ages.” Yifan complained, playing with the zippo in his hand, his other arm extended at the headrest right where Junmyeon was seated. “I’ve been busy.” He replied, taking a sip from his drink.  
“Busy? With what?” Chanyeol watched the dancefloor from their position at one of the VIP areas. It was crammed since it was Friday night, but courtesy of his celebrity status, it was bearable. But even then, he was not the only big name frequenting one of Seoul’s most infamous clubs, so even the VIP lounge was quite packed. He did not even bother to look around, for it was too much to take in. The common area must be even worse, he could see people dancing close to each other, not like they minded. Most people went out in the chase for a body against their own after all.  
“Stuff.” The rapper did not feel like talking about work. He hadn’t talked about Baekhyun with anyone yet and he was not keen on having the conversation at the moment.

“Stuff? You mean the Stuff with that model?” Sehun chimed in and Chanyeol sighed, not even noticing how the younger’s eyes would quickly stray away from their conversation. Of course.  
“I am surprised you’re working with him, weren’t you complaining about him all the time at that Award Show we went together?” Now even Yifan was interested.  
“Things can change, right?” Chanyeol was already tired of talking about this, there were a lot of things that needed to be figured out by him, still.  
“I am quite surprised, Chanyeol. You never seemed like someone that would like to associate with people of that kind of reputation.” Junmyeon remarked, thoughtful, as he was curled against Yifan’s shoulder. The actor had always been a reasonable person, so the notion did not seem out of place for him. Chanyeol shrugged as he looked into his drink.  
“He is a lot different from how most people see him. There are a lot of misunderstandings.” 

“Oh.” Sehun now chimed in again, long, slender fingers wrapped around his vodka tumbler , eyes still casted away.  
“Misunderstandings? How so?” He asked, one of the long, slender fingers now pointing into the direction he was looking and Chanyeol turned his head. He indeed was not the only big name frequenting one of Seoul’s most infamous clubs. No, today another very big name seemed to grace the luxurious place with its presence in the VIP section. 

It came in the form of a slender model, sitting on the lap of a man quite a bit older than him. Obscenely ripped tight jeans wrapped around his middle, arms wrapped around his neck and an unfamiliar hand wiping away white powder stains from the model’s nose as he was giggling.  
Chanyeol crooked his head and gritted his teeth, an old, almost foreign by now, sensation creeping up his chest. 

An _important_ schedule, huh?


End file.
